DEAR FLEM

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"Noooo! I was supposed to throw that to somebody!"

[Ed.'s Note: In the crazy, topsy-turvy world of the NFL, sometimes fans just need someone to talk to. So, once a week, Mag senior writer David Fleming will exchange emails with one lucky (we think) reader. If you'd like to have an email exhange with Flem, click here to pour your pigskin heart out. And be sure to check out the weekly FlemFile on Page 2 tomorrow and every Wednesday.]

Today's letter:

Dear Flem,
Is it okay for me to hate my favorite team? I still watch them, hope that they win, but I really think I hate the Lions. Is that okay?
-Connor Moore, Detroit native living in Cincinnati who is less than a week away from getting married

FLEM: I would say that any fan of the Lions who doesn't, at least, partly hate them by now is far more likely to be crazy or out of line. And, in some way, if you're a fan of the Lions and you truly want them to get better then, to do the right thing, you have to hope they become so bad that owner Willam Clay Ford will be forced to make real changes. I mean, other members of his family have already said they would have made MAJOR changes to the team long ago. So I feel your pain, I really do. Hang in there.

CONOR: Hey, at least this Q and A gives me a little something to take my mind off the 1,000 things I have to do in the last five days before my wedding.

FLEM: Congrats and sorry about the Mother of all To-Do Lists. My wife let me pick out the steak knives for our registry and that was about it, which was for the best. I know I'm supposed to be cool here and make some ball-n-chain reference, but the truth is being married is great.

CONOR: I can't wait. I'm not too worried about my fiancée. After all, we met at a Michigan State tailgate, and she was as torn up about the MSU loss to ND in 2006 as I was (the incredible comeback victory for the Irish destroyed that season, but set us up to have a new coach, so that was good).

FLEM: Okay, now that my Oprah moment is over, let's get back to the Lions.

CONOR: Or the Lie-downs as I've heard them referred.

FLEM: Nice. Do you think at some point the league should step in and, taking the federal government's lead, assume day-to-day operations of the Lions?

CONOR: As a Lions fan I think this is not only needed, but long overdue. Now, would the other owners go for it? I mean, the Lions are pretty much a gimme win for everyone at this point.

FLEM: Good point. Last week, before your Motor City Kitties fell to 0-3, Matt Millen, who is 31–84 as the team's general manager, said everything was fine—the Lions looked great in practice and fans didn't understand the game and just needed to stay the course. Now, please use this space to rant about Millen and his disastrous reign as the Lions GM, and the fact that despite being the worst GM, maybe in the history of all sports (seriously), he still gets away with being condescending to the Lions loyal fan base.

CONOR: I don't know what to say about Matt Millen and those comments. There is no doubt that he is the worst GM in the entire history of modern sports. I can only imagine that this false confidence comes from his job reviews with William Clay Ford whose company decided to "stay the course" and continue to rely on giant vehicles that get bad gas mileage. How's that working out for them?

The Detroit Free Press recently did a poll and asked what Detroiters would be most surprised by the most and the winner, with over 40% of the vote, was "Matt Millen gets fired." He's so bad at his job and yet Ford is so bad as an owner that we'd be surprised if he actually fired Millen.

End rant.

FLEM: Okay, time for the speed round:

• Please give me your scores for the following imaginary matchups:
  • Lions v. Ohio State
  • Lions v. Saskatchewan Roughriders (8-4 in CFL)
  • Lions v. Cincinnati Elder High School
  • 2008 Lions v. 1985 Bears.
• I have just made you Lions GM: what are your first three moves?
• Honestly, what gets you through the season when you're out of the hunt before October? Fantasy football? A good draft position? Rooting for the Spartans? The mantra: hey, at least I'm not a Raiders fan? What?
• Finally, what's going to be the biggest/worst task on your wedding To-Do list?

CONOR: Okay here goes:

• • Lions 21 - OSU 20. I believe that the worst NFL team is still better than the best college team.
  • Lions 28 - Roughriders 14. (I think you're on to something, though. This is a league we could win in.)
  • Lions 48 - Elder 45. Elder just put up 52 on a team the other day and their QB had 449 yards passing—and he's a junior.
  • Lions 0 - Bears whatever the highest score by a single team since the merger +7. Walter Payton would get 1,000 yards in this game alone. The only thing that would keep this score down would be if the Lions actually forfeited because they didn't have enough players willing to suit up for the offense.


• If I'm the Lions GM, my first three moves are: 1) Find 2) A 3) Defense. And then try to get a job with another team.


• What gets me through? As a Lions fan I've realized that I can't rely on them, so I've had to go with more trustworthy sources: The Red Wings, the Pistons, the Spartans (until this year the b-ball team, but now I can be hopeful about the football team, too) and in '06 I had Tigers baseball in October. That was pretty awesome.


• Wedding day task list: I think the worst thing is going to be trying to check scores in the MSU-Indiana game on my cell phone during the Catholic mass.

FLEM: Sinner. Hey, thanks for doing this and all the best with the wedding and the rest of the football season. Hope I didn't jinx anything since the last two pieces I wrote about were the Texans (now 0-2) and Jeremy Shockey (out for six weeks with a sports hernia, ouch).

CONOR: Thanks for your interest and for the well wishes. I hope the story turns out alright for you. I know my wedding will be great for me.

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