DEAR FLEM

FLEM: Congrats on the awesome news and impending fatherhood. Greatest thing in the world, no question. Hardest thing in the world, yes, but greatest as well. I think we have an awesome opportunity here. Currently, it feels like we're in a really bad place with fandom kinda getting out of control where you can't even argue, talk or rationally discuss things being 'right' or 'wrong' or messed up in sports—nowadays it's: My Team Take It or Leave It. It's the old sports radio motto of the less you know the louder you have to shout. That kinda stinks, ya know? Because those friendly arguments used to be half of what we loved about sports, right? Now you're taking your life into your own hands just by making fun of the Raiders. (Trust me, I'll show you the emails.)

So, no pressure or anything, but the future of all sports and fandom is pretty much up to you and your kid.

KEVIN: I've never been a yahoo local for the Patriots. That being said, I can't envision rooting for any other team. It's generational for me. My dad taught me to take my lumps, i.e. Super Bowl XX, Tony Eason and the Pete Carroll years. But those never had a taint like Spygate. Watching a bunch of guys at least try and finish poorly was easier to handle than Spygate.

FLEM: I hear ya on the generational thing since my dad is a die-hard Browns fan. People ask me if I've ever cried at a sporting event, and I'm like, "uh yeah all the time, whenever my dad would drag me and my three brothers to that frozen parking garage on Lake Erie to watch the Browns lose to the Oilers by 28 points."

KEVIN: Heck, when Spygate first happened I sounded like one of the yahoos: "Not Bill! No … Not the Master Planner! It's a conspiracy!"

FLEM: Hey, it happens. During last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, after watching Tomas Holmstrom getting his man-bits quartered by the sticks of opposing goaltenders, I wanted to draft an open letter to the NHL commish suggesting that full checking should be allowed on goalies if they initiate the contact.

Anyway, I think Spygate has to be part of the story you tell your child, but not the whole story. Sports really only have meaning when they transcend the field and, as corny as this sounds, I think they can actually help teach a kid about perspective in life and the pressure to win, about breaking the rules and the value of admitting you were wrong and learning from your mistakes.

Or, shoot, we could just do what most fans do and tell him sports heroes can do no wrong, they are gods never to be questioned or criticized, and the whole thing is the dang media's fault.

Let's do a little exercise and we'll go from there. Let's pretend your son has just come home from school and he's upset because Billy, the 12-year-old Jets fan in Ms. Neidermeyer's second-grade class, stepped on his Randy Moss lunchbox and got the whole cafeteria to chant SPY-GATE, SPY-GATE, SPY-GATE at him.

Little Tom Brady Swaluk comes home, tears in his eyes, and says, "Dad, what's Spygate?"

Okay, what do you say?

KEVIN: When it comes up, I will tell Little Mike Vrabel Swaluk (I definitely do NOT have the QB gene), that every team has to take the bad with the good. It was a dark year for us Pats fans. Coach Belichick had to admit his crime and take the penalty and the hit to his credibility. If you call yourself a devoted fan, you have to take the hit too. But it doesn't take away from your love of the game or magical moments like the Vinatieri field goal to win that first Super Bowl. And as low as you might get when your heroes are suddenly human, at least you are not a Jets fan!

FLEM: So when is the little guy due? Do you have a name picked out?

KEVIN: Due date is in June. No name yet, no word on the sex yet either. But if I have my way (and due to the fact that I am married … well, you know I don't), I'm thinking if it's a boy, Mosi. How can you go wrong being named after the most famous Samoan in snow-covered Massachusetts? If it's a girl, well, we could probably get away with Mosi because outside of Samoa, who would know?

FLEM: Love the name, love it. Let me ask you this about Spygate: did Belichick make it worse by his non-apology apology? This happens a lot, the follow-up is worse than the crime itself. The coaches who expect their players and everyone around them to be perfect human beings at all times really get to me. They demand perfection from everyoneexcept themselves. It's the classic Bobby Knight mentality. If Belichick had man'ed up, and just come clean right away, I don't think this would still be lingering in the minds of Pats fans like yourself.

KEVIN: I was disappointed in the apology. I know why he phrased his statement like he did. Any kind of admission would be a sign of weakness to the team, but from what I've read about him and his interviews, I really thought he would address the problem head on. At some point you just have to say, "I screwed up, I was wrong.'"

FLEM: So, once and for all, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the strongest memory/impression of the Belichick Dynasty and 1 being the weakest, where will Spygate rank for you in, say, five years, when you're on your way to Foxboro and it's time to talk to Mosi about his/her new favorite team?

KEVIN: I think in about five years Spygate will be about a seven. Not enough to forget the Super Bowl triumphs, but not weak enough to say it was no big deal.

FLEM: I'm no parenting expert, heck, my oldest daughter prefers Kramer to the Jonas Bros., but I think that kid is lucky to have such a level-headed father and sports mentor.

So, finally, the first email exchange I did was with a Lions fan and the next day Millen got fired, the second one was with a Steelers fan living in Texas and the Cowboys lost that week … what wish can I grant you and the Pats this week?

KEVIN: I'm thinking a week without injuries would be great. The Pats look like they are held together with duct tape and a prayer.

FLEM: Consider it done.

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