THE WORLD'S GAME (ACCORDING TO US)

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Virtual soccer stars? We must take down SkyNet while we still have the chance!

When not busy going on raids in World of Warcraft (WoW), we here at The World's Game (According to Us) dream about becoming a professional soccer player. Of course, we're way past our prime, and our prime wasn't very good in the first place. But we might still have a chance.

Well. At least virtually.

A British software company is launching Football Superstars, a massively multiple online role playing game (MMORPG) about soccer. In it, players gain skills first in small games, then in 11-aside matches and eventually try to make their way onto the national team. Between matches, they can wander around two virtual towns and, of course, buy a bunch of needless junk. In essence, you work your way up the old-fashioned way!

We hear that it's only a matter of time before the virtual economy spills so far into the real economy that there will be job listings for online positions, so we're investing all our hopes in this new game. Who knows? In a few years, a top Football Superstars right winger might be earning millions. It's at least as good a bet as the "real" stock market.

Actually, it might be best to get into the ownership game instead. For a few shekels you can start your own team (The game is free to play, but there are costs for things like fancy shoes, tattoos and new teams). Soon enough, a group of Dubai investors might buy you out. After all, it seems like rich folks from Dubai are always trying to buy soccer teams—the "real" Chartlon Athletic is the latest after Man City recently "fell" to Mideast oil—and they like fantasy projects, like their manmade island chain built in the shape of a world map and their "sports city."

Why not a fantasy soccer team?

Puma has already signed on and set up shop in the game. Next we hope Cristiano Ronaldo, who recently opened a clothing shop in Lisbon, will bring his studded "CR7" belt buckles and jeans with leather pockets into the game. While we're on the subject of fashionable Manchester United wingers, we'd like to share this picture of George Best in front of his own clothing store back in the day and this excellent cologne ad by the same man. Perhaps in the virtual world, Georgie can be born again as style icon and soccer star.

One thing we're unsure about in Football Superstars is the scheduling. It's hard enough to schedule games in the real world—MLS can't even manage to observe the international calendar and suspend its matches during World Cup qualifying. In Football Superstars, there are no computer-controlled players except the keepers, so everybody's got to show up.

Suppose on the day you have an international match, you have a bit of the flu and a touch of carpal tunnel, and you have to work. Plus, you have a huge WoW raid at the same time! What to do?

Perhaps, you'll have to make like Kenny Cooper, who was called up by the U.S. national team for tonight's game against Trinidad & Tobago, but decided not to go. As he announced on the web, he's got a virus and a sprained ankle. And, oh yeah, a really big game for his MLS team coming up.

This soccer stardom, whether real or not, sounds exhausting.

EXTRA TIME

• Ciao, Azzurri. Italy bans its own fans from away games.


• Russian striker appointed to political post, knows nothing about it.


• Every day is like Sunday, and Morrissey is a Millwall fan.


• Miami is sort of like Barcelona, we guess.


• Cuban soccer defector tells his tale.

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