WORTH REVISITING:
THE GIRLFRIEND CURSE

Seriously, this thing exists.

Getty Images

Brian Cashman is convinced this photo basically explains the 2008 baseball season.

Remember that epic Chargers vs. Patriots playoff game back in January 2007? New England marches into SoCal—the Chargers were 14-2 that year, mind you—and steal a victory. A bunch of Pats end up stomping on the field, upsetting the normally unshakable LaDainian Tomlinson. The most remarkable non-football element of that game? According to a few media reports, Tom Brady emerges from the locker room after this incredible playoff road win and who's leaning against the wall waiting for him? Ostensibly the hottest woman on the entire planet. Some dudes have all the luck.

Or, do they?

The next week, Brady had another road playoff game, against a team he had owned to that point, the Indianapolis Colts. We were flying back from a wedding in 'Zona and when we boarded our connector in Dallas, the Pats were winning by twenty-one points. Bears vs. Patriots Super Bowl, indeed.

When we landed, the Colts were officially in the game that would give Peyton Manning his first world title. Tom Brady? Hasn't won a Super Bowl since.

OK, we get it: in the meantime, he's had one of the best regular seasons ever for a QB and gotten back to the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, he lost it. (Gisele's still proud of him, though.) Obviously, he went down for the entire season in Week 1 this year.

Tony Romo, who "couldn't be dragged into a Nieman Marcus if Jessica Simpson tried," had two pieces of finger news last week: he broke his pinky in a game that sent the Super Bowl-bound (!!!) Cowboys to a rather pedestrian .500 record and news was everywhere that he was proposing to Simpson. (Brady is dogged by the same rumors all the time.) The Cowboys losing to Arizona is just the latest in a series of stinkers Romo has thrown up since Nick Lachey's ex crooned into his life: the first time she showed up at one of his games, giving Joe Buck a case of the schoolgirl fits, he laid an egg the size of a Chipotle burrito against the Eagles. Last year in the playoffs, he was playing a team he had already beaten twice, the Giants, at home. They lost. It wasn't completely his fault—the pre-Simpson Seahawks loss the season before pretty much was, though—but a QB's still gotta shoulder some of that.

Reggie Bush is having a ridiculous numerical year, sure. Insert sports cliche here: "There's no 'I' in team," etc. The Saints are 3-3 and dead last in a generally weak NFC South. Bush's girlfriend, the actress (what do you call her?) Kim Kardashian, might actually be more cursed: she got booted from Dancing with the Stars in week one. (If these rumors about Rashad McCants and another Kardashian are true, the T-Wolves are even more doomed this season.)

Adriana Lima's man, Marko Jaric, departed Minny. He'll probably start for the Memphis Grizzlies this year, but that's hardly a position many would choose to be in. Delicious insider information: Andre Iguodala was in our office this week (we got a video coming soon). We walked past him once and heard this trailed-off snippet: "Oh, beating them is all about keying on Rudy (Gay)." Truth.

Look, we write awkward posts with hyperlinks to People.Com for a website within the ESPN family. It's probably not a stretch for you to realize we haven't had many A-list female celebrities as our girlfriend over time. We're sure there is a reasonable explanation here: these women are probably based mostly out of NYC and LA and seeing them can put a strain on your prep/workout time. Who wouldn't want to see 'em? Life is all about sacrifices. (Just once, we'd love a Belichick press conference soundbite on Gisele.) But it needs to be said once and for all: the celebrity girlfriend curse does exist. (OK, maybe not in hockey.) Point being: when Lindsay Lohan comes out of her awkward "maybe once or twice in college" phase and decides to start trolling for gents again, keep your hands where we can see 'em. We're talking about the difference between a Lombardi Trophy and a torn ACL here.

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