THE MORNING ACCORDING TO US

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Selling out to do Taco Bell ad spots; just another part of being a monk.

Mei Nansheng is a man of principle and deep conviction. The fervent fan of the Chinese soccer club Wuhan Guanggu has chosen to become a Buddhist monk upon hearing the news that his beloved team had withdrawn from the professional league. Mei's mantra: If my team is done, then so am I. Yes, the soccer fanatic known as the "Iron Trumpet" has played Taps to the sports world. Mr. Nansheng will reside at the Shaolin Temple—the birthplace of kung fu, the deathbed of a sports fan. He's shunned the sporting landscape in favor of a mountainous terrain imbued with peace and quietude. Much like a Mariners home game.

So, what if your fave franchise disbanded, fellow fanatics? Can you envision a world where a Minnesota Vikings fan holes up in his ice fishing hut, forever closing the door on professional sports? Or would he find another team (dare we say the Packers?) to embrace and call his own? The latter's more likely.

Many of us are tethered to our teams as part of the ebb and flow of our daily lives. Grab a morning cup of joe, check the stats and standings to see how "our guys" are faring. After all, we've all seen lives gone astray without a constant anchor to keep them grounded. Oh, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Major pigskin to the nose.

Remove those foam fingers for a moment, and genuflect to the East to honor the purest of the purists. Mei Nansheng, the monk. Oh, and in case you do change your mind, Mei, and want to rejoin the fanatics, we can recommend several satellite dish installers that'll make the trip to the temple.

Elsewhere…

India's media has called for the retirement of its star cricket player Sachin Tendulkar for over a year. We don't understand the terminology. All we know is yesterday he became the sport's leading run scorer and had a match that was the rough equivalent of Brett Favre throwing for 400 yards.

How do you spell schadenfreude? S-p-o-r-t-i-n-g-b-e-t.c-o-m. The British company laughs at the worldwide recession and the American pols who two years ago banned the firm from the States. Profits are way up, expansion through Latin America the next move.

South Africans calling each other "donkey" on the pitch will get somebody red-carded.

What's up with the Brazilians? For the third-straight time, they've failed to win a World Cup qualifier at home. The fans have taken to booing—a new concept for them.

Moon job at soccer game gets a dude banned.

This can't be a good sign for Memphis.

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