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Auction Block: All Dressed Up

Sports and Halloween do have some connections. Some.

by Eric Angevine

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"The key to a good mustache is blend."

The connection between big-time sports and Halloween is difficult to pin down. Even in the wild-card era, baseball's World Series is typically over before October 31st. The NBA and NHL play Friday games this week, but we seriously doubt anyone is skipping a naughty nurse party to stay home and watch the Spurs at the Blazers or Stars at Blackhawks.

With Samhain falling on Saturday roughly once every decade (coming up next in 2009!), college football probably has the greatest chance of playing meaningful games on the actual day. But for the most part, we have to satisfy ourselves with tangential connections. Like these!

Few will be surprised to hear that the reanimated corpse of Steve Trachsel, still seeking "Braiinnnsss!" as a Baltimore Oriole this season, was born Oct 31, 1970. Just goes to show you, even a zombie can pitch in the majors if you limit his innings. Trachsel also pitched in 23 games for the then-Devil Rays in 2000. Here's his game-worn hat to prove it. You can almost smell all of that Rays history and tradition, can't you?

Or perhaps you prefer Frank Angelo Joseph Crespi, who was blessed with the nickname "Creepy" Crespi. The Shortstop was an MVP candidate in 1941, after crossing the plate 85 times for the St. Louis Cardinals. Like many ballplayers of his era, his career on the diamond was cut short by military service. The primary difference being that Creepy suffered two career-ending leg injuries while still in camp—one in an Army baseball game, and the second during his convalescence, when he crashed his ride during a wheelchair race. Read more of Creepy's bio here.

For football fans, no All Hallows would be complete without the 1994 Coke Monsters of the Gridiron card set. It's difficult to imagine the pitch that convinced Ronnie Lott to dress as "The Rattler", or Shane Conlan to don huge yellow ram's horns, but we imagine it involved lots and lots of money from the soft drink manufacturer. Perhaps the saddest is Derrick "Attack Cat" Thomas, looking like the Cowardly Lion with mange.

For most of us, Halloween is a chance to emulate our sports heroes by dressing in their uniforms and trying on their personas for one night. However, we know you have a sense of humor too, so allow us to suggest these "meta" costumes, which allow fans to dress like athletes who also had a fondness for disguise:

Dressing in a Utah Jazz uniform will only bring scorn. But dressing as former Jazz center Olden Polynice by slipping into a cop's uniform would be a nice tribute to everyone's favorite officer.

Another blast from the past—Bobby Valentine went to great lengths to get back into the dugout after being ejected from a game in 1999.

Pat Summit dressed as a UT cheerleader, and Clinton Portis is practically an Eddie Murphy movie with his multiple personalities. Everyone loves a good costume.

Whether you're starting from scratch on your look for Friday, or looking to accessorize, here are a few items for the sports-loving partygoer.

Anaheim Ducks Wild Wing Goalie Mask:
For that perfect combination of creepy and goofy. Little known fact: Terry Sawchuk was more terrifying without his mask.

Chicago Bears Trick or Treat Bag:
If you carry this bag, you have three frightening choices of costume. 1) grow wild beard, go as Kyle Orton. 2) Shave head, go as Brian Urlacher 3) Put on 49ers gear, go as Mike Singletary.

OU pumpkin pail:
Might we suggest that Sooner fans might not want to put their logo on anything ORANGE?

49ers Witch Hat:
If you were Harry Potter, would you be more upset if the hat sent you to Slytheryn, or the bay area?

Jockey Pants:
This is an appropriate costume if you're a little guy. If you're, say, Will Ferrell, it's a hilarious costume.

Seattle Supersonics Trick or Treat Cards:
Umm…we'll go "trick" for the people of Seattle, and "treat" for the people of Oklahoma City.

Kansas City Chiefs Halloween Yard Stake:
More frightening: Larry Johnson coming at your defensive secondary with a full head of steam? Or Larry Johnson coming at you in a nightclub with a full drink? Trick question. The answer is: Chiefs GM Carl Peterson coming at you with a contract.

Next week: Election day special.

Heard of anything interesting in the world of collectibles? Contact us at collectespn@gmail.com


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