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Any conversation that makes the Whizzinator relevant is a good one.

In the current version of what some might call a performance-enhancing drug scandal in the NFL, the issue, according to the AP, is "that six to 10 players had tested positive for Bumetanide, a pill that decreases the amount of water retained in the body by increasing urination. It causes the kidneys to get rid of unneeded water and salt from the body into the urine. Other reports put the number of cases as high as 18."

In essence, guys are getting busted for a pill that causes excessive trips to the bathroom. It cleans out their systems. Are they going to consider banning beer?

The NFL, of course, has the haziest of drug policies. For instance, even though it's been strengthened, the league still doesn't have the ability to draw blood in any manner when it comes to testing. And masking agents are extremely good when it comes to the ol' plastic cup. As the late Gene Upshaw said last year, "I'm still not willing to have our players stuck like a pin cushion. What use would it be for you to find something out two or three years from now and we've already played games? We have 25 percent turnover each year. What good is that? It's almost like changing the speed-limit sign after you've passed."

And this is the real crux of the matter. Here is the NFL, nailing guys for a drug that can help them get stuff out of their system faster. But Upshaw's point remains the most vital here: The league disposes of its own at such a high rate—most players last barely three years—that over-scrutinizing anything—be it horse steroids to Whizzinators—is like demanding airbags in a demolition derby.

This isn't a one-time use, or single impact sport. Meaning, unless the thing can re-inflate ad infinitum, fughettaboutit. Some people might find it a scary thought that so many in football could resort to steroids or other performance-enhancers. But remember what Upshaw said. The league is disposing of its own "naturally" faster than any drug-enforcement policy could make players truly safer from themselves. With the rate of gruesome injury in this league, when it comes to any kind of drug that would preserve the body or make it stronger, the more scary thing could be that some players would ever resist.

Elsewhere…

Nothing is more exciting than a low-speed golf cart chase. Makes us think of George Costanza being chased down by a mob of seniors in their motorized wheelchairs.

A golfer plunks his own caddy and gets taken for a lot of money. This is really odd.

Does this jersey make me a white supremacist?

Thankfully, space tourism is going to weather the economic storm. So keep that North Face gear for Mars afterall!

A skier is a little miffed that he no longer has a leg. Geez. Poor sport.

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