THE NBA: TEN THINGS
WE REALLY DON'T KNOW

Most teams have played one game. Let's start speculating. Yea!

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"But what does it all mean?"

Our friend once wrote a column in his college newspaper right before the NCAA Tournament. A sample: "For all you people telling me Utah State is a good first-round upset choice as a 14 seed in the West, shut up. You've never seen Utah State play. You've never even had a layover in Utah. What are you talking about?" Truth. There's something about sports that makes everyone think they know way more than they do. In that vein, we're going to take 1 (sometimes 2) game of 82 and tell you what we culled from them! Yea! (We need better social lives.) For legitimate NBA information—again, though, based off 1/82 of a season—go here. This is simply meant to poke fun at the notion of "what we learned." Then again, you might learn something. Stranger things have happened.

1. The Lakers are good!
Waxed this year's "it" team by 20, then made the Clippers look like Shaun Livingston was running the point about three minutes after his injury. Too soon?

2. Terry Porter knows what he's doing!
Check out our "NBA preview from multiple voices" piece. Most people who responded actually think Porter was underappreciated in Milwaukee. Last night, Tony Parker and Tim Duncan hung 62 on the new-look Suns and Phoenix still won. Mark Jackson made this call on the thunderous Amare dunk at the end: "Momma, watch out for that man!" Uh. What does that mean?

3. The Knicks might not suck!
Hey, they dropped 120 on the Heat…and almost blew a 21-point lead. Is it us, or did Michael Beasley look really winded in that game?

4. Let 'em go abroad!
Josh Childress? We don't need no stinkin' Josh Childress! The Hawks opened with a win over a 50-win team from last season thanks to Joe Johnson throwing down a cool 25.

5. The Rockets might stink!
Yea, they won and all. But by 11? Over the Grizzlies? Isn't that kind of depressing? Ah, cue this clip.

6. Philadelphia only gets good things in limited doses!
Yea, the 2008 World Series! Down the street: Chris Bosh gets 27 and 11 and the Raptors—the real sleeper of the East!—beat the 76ers. This becomes relevant.

7. Team nicknames mean nothing!
Thunder? Durant barely scored double digits! Wizards? There's no magic in losing to the Nets by 10! Kings? More like…

8. With the No. 1 pick in the 2009 NBA Draft, the Sacramento Kings select…
Seriously, Kings vs. T-Wolves? REALLY? Doesn't it seem like the loser of that game is making a run at the No. 1 pick? Somewhere, our former intern Ben Fawkes breathes easier. We resent his happiness. Side note: when did John Salmons get good?

9. Chris Paul does nothing wrong!
Go-ahead layup with 19.4 seconds left? Could this guy solve the bailout right now? He probably could (just not the Spurs!)

10. The Pacers and Pistons are boring!
One game recap described this contest as "balanced." To quote our friend Sean Bartlett, "That's like saying 'good personality.' "

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