The Morning According to Us

Why is pulling a quarterback earth-shattering?

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"Have a nice press conference." ... "I hate my life."

What is it about benching a quarterback that seems to bring about the end of the world? It's perceived as the football equivalent of an amputation. I mean, "Sure, we can reverse the damage, but are you sure you want to do that? It won't be the same."

Andy Reid decided Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb might need a breather after the first half of Sunday's game against Baltimore. This was because McNabb had gone 8-18 for 59 yards, with 2 INT's and a fumble. That comes out to a hearty 13.2 QB rating. Immediately, people wondered what the implications were. Was Donovan done for the season? Irreparable damage? Cris Collinsworth went on Football Night in the Solar System on NBC shortly after and claimed McNabb was done in Philadelphia. The guy has been there ten years! But no. Collinsworth's voice was grave, the words uttered in hushed tones for those of us at the wake.

Then in Cleveland, Romeo Crennel did the same thing with Brady Quinn. His team had basically no offense against, ugh, Houston, and he inserted Derek Anderson. Again Crennel had to defend the action, even though people knew Quinn had a hurt finger.

Now it's clear why NFL head coaches have to be paid so well. The mere act of sitting a guy who's playing poorly is deemed earth-shattering. Really. And that guy they bench? He's paid well too. If you don't think this is tricky, find someone who makes twice as much as you in the office today and tell him to head home—his performance is bad and he needs to take a day to see it from the outside. Get some perspective. It wasn't always like this. Coaches made changes, the Earth continued to rotate. But we're so stunningly concerned now with the psyche of the pro quarterback, we can barely fathom his recovery from, yes, a benching. In another league, Mike D'Antoni comes off like a stand-up guy for not playing $20 million dollar man Stephon Marbury for the whole season thus far. We nod in agreement.

But those quarterbacks? Cue scene:

Coach: "He was 3-13 for 15 yards with 2 INT's. He needed a break."
Media: "But what does this mean?"
Coach: "He was playing bad."
Media: "Sure he was playing poorly coach. Sure he was.

And who will start for Philly this Thursday?

McNabb.

Elsewhere…

A canyon, a jetpack, and the future strapped to a dude's back. NOTHING is bad about jetpacks, ya hear? NOTHING!

A jockey hasn't won in 28 years, and still nearly pulls a Leon Lett. Just win the race, dude.

The NHL now marketing in Europe? Wait, then it'd be the Multi-National Hockey League! Oh, Canada isn't a state.

The NFL in 3-D. Sweet.

Prison soccer in South Africa. What could go wrong?

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