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The Morning According to Us

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To see an E:60 video on Sean Avery, please go here.

To put it bluntly, Sean Avery was the only reason we followed hockey. A sartorially minded on-ice agitator who trashes the new boyfriends of his old exes? That's reason enough to stay tuned, dude. We won't any more, now that the Stars have banished him from the team, even agreeing to pay his salary so long as he keeps out of the arena. But with a look at Avery's sins, one thing's for certain: Whoever gets the Stars' sloppy seconds will have to up the tolerance for anarchy, because this is milquetoast stuff.

Seriously, National Hockey League? This is how you a treat a man whose crimes include (and we're pulling this straight from the conference call yesterday): talking with the media; not getting along with all his teammates; and commenting on other players who date his exes? The Stars owner, Tom Hicks, needs to take a lesson from his colleague at Valley Ranch: Second chances lead to buzz-worthy teams. Half the fun of watching the Cowboys is clucking at the never-ending drama, and then trying to anticipate how that plays out on the field.

This is the problem with the NHL: It thinks a guy who interns at Vogue and routinely shows up in People and on PerezHilton is bad for the game. You fools. He's growing the game. Or at least, he was.

Elsewhere…

Rower is rescued off Australian coast after a 10-month journey.

So Obama doesn't get to see bull-fighting when he rolls into Kenya? Phooey.

Another gambler sues another casino after losing another near billion. What an ass hat.

Uh, this dude ain't quite Robin Hood. What a picture!