Baseball Hall of Fame 2009: One Line For Each Guy

Let's just keep things simple, shall we?

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No-brainer, but what about the rest of the ballot?

If you think some of these arguments are genuinely asinine, e-mail us and tell us. On Monday, we'll post a bunch of fan opinions when the actual nominees are announced.

On New Year's Day, during the Rose Bowl, a kid we had recently met turned to us and goes: "So, you work for ESPN? Do you have a vote in the college football polls?" We laughed in his mug. We'll admit freely that we're not any kind of tried-and-true, did-the-beat-for-twenty-plus-years sportswriter; our depression emanates from other, more esoteric sources. Still, like any red-blooded American male, we've spent over twenty summers consuming baseball day-in and day-out. Figured we'd take the guys on the 2009 HOF ballot (nominees are announced Monday) and analyze the chances of each in one line of text (roughly). Short and sweet. We know the "metrics" for positions and all that, but this is about gut instinct. Have fun, and feel free to argue with us.

Harold Baines
If Andre Dawson isn't in, Baines shouldn't be.

Jay Bell
No disrespect meant to Bell, but we just laughed out loud like Lois Griffin laughs at Peter.

Bert Blyleven
When you think "dominant pitchers of the 1980s," is this name even coming out in your top five?

David Cone
194 wins seems low, doesn't it?

Andre Dawson
Read this.

Ron Gant
Ha! Did have 8 HR and 28 RBI in 10 postseason series, though.

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REALLY?

Mark Grace
We love the dude, but for a 1B, it seems your numbers should be higher.

Rickey Henderson
Absolute no-brainer yes, but read this if you want a good laugh.

Tommy John
Let him in, if only for what he did to pitching vernacular.

Don Mattingly
We'd let him in just because we feel bad about how the Yanks fleeced him for the manager job, but his numbers aren't "sick" enough.

Mark McGwire
Ugh, hate it that "ethics" has to play into a game you learned from your dad.

Jack Morris
Tough one. Good in the clutch, but numbers are overall average.

Dale Murphy
Honestly, we'd let him in. You think "sluggers of the 1980s," he's coming out Top 5, isn't he?

Jesse Orosco
We love the '86 pic, but otherwise, what? Really?

Dave Parker
Oddly, his career arc was consistent: seven All-Star appearances across 13 years. Still, no.

Dan Plesac
Naw.

Tim Raines
As a sparkplug, we'd say yes. Don't know if the "metrics" work.

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It's time.

Jim Rice
Biggest issue on this year's docket. Ya gotta give it to him, right? RIGHT?

Lee Smith
Ah, cue up the closer discussion. We say "No, you lock it up!" and just let him in.

Darryl Strawberry
Cool story in some respects, but we'd rather have a story like this play out with, say, Mickey Rourke winning an Oscar.

Alan Trammell
Darn "metrics" probably aren't there, but you should let him in just for the DP combo he was part of.

Greg Vaughn
Ugh, no.

Mo Vaughn
See above.

Matt Williams
Nickname ("The Carson Crusher") is cool, and his ex-wife was hot in Blame it on Rio, but no.

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