The Morning According to Us

Loathsome? Plaxico Burress is merely a man of action!

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He took a bullet for all of sport this year.

When a publication releases their list of the 50 Most Loathsome People in America for the year, we rest easy with most of the targets. After all, in an election year, who better to be skewered than the all-talk do-nothing crowd of politicians and talking heads that we're forced to deal with ad nauseam.

But damn if they had to go after Plaxico Burress, a man of action in a sports world that so needs it.

His charges, they say, are: "This Giant prima donna kicked off 2008 by skipping minicamp, watching training camp from the sidelines, whining about his $3.25 million yearly salary and milking a phantom ankle injury. The receiver's laziness and ego resulted in a predictably lackluster year, which ended abruptly at a New York City nightclub, as he overestimated the tensile strength of his sweatpants holster.
Exhibit A: Name sounds like a rheumatoid arthritis medication.
Sentence: Traded to Detroit Lions."

We're not buying. Plaxico is the opposite of loathsome.

For one, Plaxico was right to hold out. Anybody is right to hold out. This is the NFL, a nasty league from the standpoint of what it does to you physically and contractually. Players are disposed of halfway crippled, and worse, with debilitating brain conditions. Guys get cut left and right, many don't make it to a third year that gets them into the pension game, and injuries are a daily routine. They don't have guaranteed contracts, so they guarantee what they can. Plaxico was a man of action with his in-action, and we can't blame him.

Secondly, his year really wasn't all that bad by his standards. Healthy for the whole season, he would have been around 65-70 catches for roughly 1000 yards. On a Giants team that runs often and spreads the ball around, Burress, was—altogether now—what we thought he was. (And that aint' bad.) And frankly, the Giants proved how much they needed him when the playoffs arrived.

Lastly, we've been saying for years that professional sports leagues need to address guns in a mature manner, instead of just pretending that vulnerable-feeling millionaires won't own them and punishing them when we find out they do. It's like praying your 18 year-old won't drink instead of actually discussing the topic out loud. That's why Plaxico, again, was a man of action, taking a bullet for the team and helping further this collective conversation. So what if he accidentally did it, and the thing landed in his own thigh. You can't spell say "accidental foresight" without "foresight."

In fact, we think Plaxico can just take over for #37, Keith Olbermann, and have his own show to discuss the merits of his platform. Plaxico doesn't just moralize while screaming at you, he goes out and puts it on the line!

So go ahead, trade him to the Lions. And mark 'em down for 11-5.

Elsewhere…

Robinho had a really bad day. Read up on it here.

Mexico now using voodoo dolls to beat us.

The Godfather horse scene, 2.0.

Cricket on Everest! Parcheesi on McKinley!

Athletes jumping naked off roofs. Cool.

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