Eight Men Out

With the Cardinals and Rays out of the way, only eight teams remain without an appearance on their sport's biggest stage.

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This sight is enough to make most Browns fans vomit uncontrollably.

The Arizona Cardinals are headed to their first Super Bowl just a few months after the Tampa Bay Rays went to their first World Series. That leaves only eight football and baseball franchises trying to explain why they haven't reached the big stage.

We tried to do it for them.

NFL

Cleveland Browns

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  Earnest Byner. The Browns are driving for the tying touchdown against the Broncos in the AFC championship game following the 1987 season. Byner is stripped of the ball by Jeremiah Castille near the goal line and the Broncos escape with a 38-33 win. "The Fumble" and "Byner" become synonymous in Cleveland sports.


• CLOSE CALL
  One year before "The Fumble," there was "The Drive," when John Elway took the Broncos 98 yards for a tying score in the final minutes of regulation, leading to an eventual overtime win. Browns fans may remember this. Don't bring it up. Please.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  The Browns are starting over with new coach Eric Mangini, who apparently is now swayed by history—or sentiment. One of his first directives was to remove a mural at the team's training complex that included the franchise's Hall of Famers, including old time title-holders Jim Brown and Otto Graham. That wall is now painted white.

Detroit Lions

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  William Clay Ford. He purchased the Lions for a paltry $4.5 million in 1964 and has a 1–9 postseason record to show for it. You would think one of the unlucky 13 coaches he has employed during the Super Bowl era would have caught lightning in a bottle. Putting Matt Millen in charge of the operation for eight years was no stroke of genius, either.


• CLOSE CALL
  The Lions have made just one conference championship game, following the 1991 season, when Barry Sanders was held to 44 rushing yards and Washington rolled, 41–10. In fairness, the Lions, like the Browns, have championships from the pre-Super Bowl days. That doesn't mean much for fans pining for the "glory days" of Wayne Fontes.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  There is nowhere to go but up for the 0–16 Lions and Jim Schwartz, coach No. 14 under Ford. But the journey might take a while.

Houston Texans

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  The offensive line. The Texans made David Carr the top pick in the 2002 Draft and the blockers in front of him allowed the former Fresno State star to be sacked a staggering 249 times over five seasons. Carr finished his Texans career with more interceptions (65) than touchdown passes (59). He is alive, however, a huge plus.


• CLOSE CALL
  None. Not only have they never been to the Super Bowl, the Texans are the only remaining NFL team not to appear in a playoff game.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  After seven years in the league, time is no longer an excuse. The Texans need their first winning season before they can worry about a Super Bowl.

Jacksonville Jaguars

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  James Harris. Picked as a Super Bowl contender this past summer, the Jags stumbled to 5–11 and Harris was forced out in December as vice president of player personnel. Wide receiver Jerry Porter and cornerback Drayton Florence were signed to contracts that included $23 million in guaranteed money.


• CLOSE CALL
  The Jaguars were spoiled by success, advancing to the AFC title game in their second season (1996) and losing to Bill Parcells' Patriots. It was the first of four straight playoff years for the Jags, including a conference title loss to the Titans in 1999. Apparently, the architect of that first close call, Tom Coughlin, wasn't a tremendous slouch.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  Either the Jags make the Super Bowl next season or coach Jack Del Rio could be looking for a new job.

New Orleans Saints

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  Saints fans once made it fashionable to wear bags over their heads as a disguise, so there is plenty of blame to go around. Don't forget Mike Ditka, who was 15–33 in three seasons as coach. Ditka even appeared on a cover of ESPN The Mag with running back Ricky Williams, who was in a wedding dress. That marriage didn't end in divorce, but there wouldn't have been many assets to divide. Particularly since Ditka famously traded an entire draft for Ricky's services.


• CLOSE CALL
  One NFC championship game to their credit. If it's any consolation, nine Super Bowls have been played in New Orleans.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  Fortunes can turn quickly in the NFL, especially when the offensive firepower is there—just look at the Cardinals—so the Saints may be closer than you think.

MLB

Getty Images

A portrait of sorrow.

Seattle Mariners

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  The Kingdome, a no-frills building that made for bad atmosphere and bad karma. No one had it worse than the Mariner Moose, who broke his leg while inline skating into the outfield fence during a 1995 game.


• CLOSE CALLS
  Three losses in the ALCS, two to the hated Yankees. The 2001 team won 116 games, but took it on the chin from Yankees in divisional play. The franchise hasn't been the same since that disappointment, and recent GM Bill Bavasi made sure the team wouldn't get near the playoffs during his tenure.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  The new marketing slogan for 2009 is "A New Day, A New Way." A new manager, Don Wakamatsu, can't hurt.

Texas Rangers

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  Former owner George W. Bush. Why not? Right or wrong, he seems to get blamed for everything else. A close second goes to the Texas heat, which premier pitchers avoid like the plague. How else to you explain a five-year, $65 million contract for Chan Ho Park?


• CLOSE CALL
  Remember this team is a descendant of the expansion Washington Senators. There have been three division titles, but no playoff series wins.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  Josh Hamilton is baseball's newest star. Too bad he can't pitch.

Washington Nationals

• WHO GETS THE BLAME?
  The union, or the owners, or whoever you feel is responsible for the 1994 strike. The Expos had the best record in baseball and a talent-laden team with the likes of Pedro Martinez and Larry Walker when the season was wiped out. After Martinez was traded in 1997, the franchise essentially went in the tank. Especially with fans.


• CLOSE CALL
  Older Montreal fans (those who are left) still have visions of Rick Monday's ninth-inning homer for the Dodgers in the fifth and deciding game of the 1981 NLCS at Olympic Stadium. Rick Monday, the guy who saved an American flag, ruining a possible Montreal World Series appearance? Go figure.


• ANYTIME SOON?
  The Nats made a respectable run at free agent Mark Teixeira this off-season, but have nothing to show for it. The franchise is coming off its first 100-loss season since 1976 and hasn't been a draw for free agents. In this division, it could take a while to get competitive.

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