SUPER. FREAKY. WACKY. CREEPY?

The Losers Bracket: Eagles Fans

David Holloway

The Ashbys deck the halls.

The editors at The Magazine may have used the words "freaky" and "creepy" to headline the superstitious fan package that's running in this issue, but the pack of Ravens supporters I was assigned to write about was anything but. Intense? Sure. Hilarious? Definitely. Devoted to the point of making me wonder whether I care about anything or anyone in my life as much as they love a professional football team? Absolutely.

It's true: the Ashby family lives and die by the Ravens. And they've got some game-time rituals that to the untrained eye might seem a little nutty. If you're the kind of person who doesn't like watching games on TV alone, then they're the neighbors you always wanted, because they'd totally invite you over. They'd give you a prime spot to sit a few yards away from their large, Hi-Def TV, they'd serve you the traditional pigskin snacks they usually eat and even lend you one of the dozen or so Ravens jerseys they've got hanging around so that you'd feel a part of it all.

Actually, the jersey part might not be optional. See, Kathy Ashby, the matriarch, is a superstitious lady. Deep down she knows that what she wears and where she sits and what she eats doesn't really have any control over the outcome of the game, but that doesn't mean she's comfortable tempting fate. Before the AFC Championship contest versus the Steelers Kathy explained: "I don't think we oughta change what brought us here." And so they didn't.

There's assigned seating, too. Kathy's husband, Dave, sits in the easy chair closest the television. Her daughter Lindsey sits in the chair to his right. Kathy takes her spot on the far left side of the couch behind her daughter and husband. She says she's most comfortable there, but there could be another reason for her strategic placement: it's nearest the route to the bathroom, which is where she goes and hides when then Ravens must convert a crucial third down. See, one time the Ravens were playing a particularly awful game when Kathy got up to use the Lady's Room. While she was in there, the team made good on a third and long while deep in their own territory. In fact, it was a touchdown pass that won the game for them. So now whenever the team needs a big play either her daughter or husband will yell: "Mom! In the Bathroom!" and Kathy dutifully scurries through the kitchen on in to the powder room, shuts the door and waits to be told when she can come out.

David Holloway

Kathy leaves the confessional.

Lindsey has a ritual, too. She wears three Ravens jerseys to start each game and peels one off whenever she feels she needs to turn the team's luck around. As it happened, in the AFC Championship game she removed jersey #1 in disgust after Pittsburgh scored its first touchdown. After roughly 87 minutes of confusion, the play ended up being ruled an incomplete pass. At that moment it seemed like her stripping did possess some kind of bizarre control over the game's outcome. But Pittsburgh kept scoring, and by the third quarter she ran out of jerseys.

As the game ended I discovered Dave's ritual: hiding upstairs so the ESPN writer couldn't witness any violent outbursts or the salty tears coaxed from a loss. When it became clear the Birds were toast the natives' faces turned sad. "That was a world of suck," I heard Dave exclaiming from somewhere upstairs.

But leave it to Kathy to put it all in perspective. "It hurts to lose," she said. "But this team has given us so much to cheer about this year that all I feel right now is grateful." Indeed. At least she's not a Lions fan.

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