May The Curse Be With You

Who are the most cursed NFL players in recent memory?

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Cursed? Well, check his playoff past.

A word you'll be hearing a lot today is "paraskavedekatriaphobia", the fear of the day Friday the 13th. The origin of this fear is disputed. Some say it's simply a mixture of the number 13—long a cursed number and the reason most hotel elevators go from the 12th to the 14th floor—and Friday, which someone decided was cursed long ago because it was "The 6th Day". (People who saw the movie of the same name featuring the current California governor certainly felt so.)
Others believe it comes from an ancient myth involving Frigga, the Norse god who Friday was named after, and her coven of thirteen witches. Still others think it has something to do with the Knights Templar, but really that's just because everything has to do with them after The DaVinci Code.

The point is, Friday the 13th is cursed, so there's no better day to have a conversation about cursed players than today. And while most sports curses are related to baseball—you can't go a year without hearing about a new one—a sport that gets a relative pass in the cursed department is the NFL. Until now. So let's rank some past and present NFLers based on our All-Important Curse Index. From least to most cursed:

Karmic Comeback:

Pacman Jones: Unfortunately for Pacman, his off-the-field transgressions happened during his peak physical years. Joe Biddle of The Tennessean thinks "you can see his deterioration of skills after his year out of football. He is not the explosive punt returner or cover corner he was. Well, he's explosive, but you know what I mean." Couldn't have happened to a nicer fella.

Curtis Enis: Fifth overall pick in the '98 draft, Enis lasted only three seasons in the NFL after knee problems stemming from an ACL injury forced him out of the game. Final stats: 1,497 yards in 456 carries. Before you start feeling bad though, the injury may just be payback for the most inappropriate wedding speech of all time.

Broken Mirror:

LaDainian Tomlinson: It's tough to argue that one of the greatest running backs of all time is cursed, but look at his playoff career. In half of LT2's career postseason games he's received seven or less carries due to various ailments; this year's ineptitude was due to a disgusting-sounding "torn groin". Even more painful than a torn groin? Being coached by both Norv Turner and Marty Schottenheimer. (Ed's Note: What's wrong with Marty? Look at his record. Seriously.)

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Ask a Bears fan about Brown and they just shake their head.

Orlando Brown: Accidentally getting hit in the eye with a referee's flag and sitting out three years while recovering, bad. Getting a $25 million dollar settlement and playing another three seasons with the Ravens, good.

Oldest Person In the World:

Brandon Stokely: Just as the award of "Oldest Person in the World" is cursed—winners are always dying!—Stokely's role of catching tough passes over the middle lends itself to irritating injuries. Unfortunately for Stokely, his injuries happened just when his career started to take off, leaving him with only one 1,000-yard season on his resume to date.

Mike Brown: An Achilles injury in '04, hurt calf in '05, fractured foot in '06, a knee injury that held him to only one game in '07. That's 21 games over four seasons, four seasons when Chicago's above average teams could have used an All-Pro talent like Brown to put them over the top. While his injuries are predictable seeing that his style of play is best described as "controlled chaos", you really have to be a Bears fan to understand how heartbreaking his career path has truly been.

Born Under a Bad Moon:

Andre Wadsworth: According to Scott Bordow of the East Valley Tribune, Wadsworth "was supposed to be the next Bruce Smith when the Cardinals made him the third overall pick", but knee surgery after knee surgery kept him off the field. Worst of all, what little career he had was played in Arizona. (Note: This joke worked a whole lot better before this season exempted them from punchline status for a few years.)

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