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ESPNTheMag.Com Presents: All-World Power Rankings

What superhero could do the nastiest dunk?

by Ted Bauer

Getty Images
SupaMan.

SUPERHEROES WITH "MAD ILL" DUNKS? SEEMS HARD TO ARGUE WITH SUPERMAN.

What is "All-World Power Rankings?"

There's one thing you should be concerning yourself with as the weekend draws near: the release of previously-thought-to-be-completely-unfilmable Watchmen, with (for some reason) Malin Akerman (yep, the girl from 27 Dresses) and Billy Crudup (yep, the guy who bagged Mary-Louise Parker) in leading roles. Should be either (a) fun or (b) a complete disaster. The other cool thing of recent note? James White, the most supreme dunker of 'em all (witness), has a 10-day deal with the Rockets. We decided to combine these ideas: what superheroes would be sick dunkers? Is this a lame concept? Yes, somewhat. (Tear us apart in the comments!) We don't do much all day 'cept read this page. Here we go, yo.

TOP 5
RANK (YESTERDAY) WHAT WHY
1 (14) SUPERMAN He's basically the most powerful superhero, right? (This thing seems to indicate that would be the case.) Talk about bringin' the thunder. Gawd, we just mixed metaphors.
2 (410) SPIDER MAN We put him No. 2 because we kinda want to see someone involve the arena in a dunk, like doing junk from the rafters and whatnot. Spidey could do that.
3 (21) THE SILVER SURFER From his Wiki: "The Surfer, who sustains himself by converting matter into energy, does not require food, water, air, or sleep. He is immune to extreme temperatures and radiation, and he can survive in vacuum environments such as outer space, hyperspace, black holes, and the center of stars. He can analyze and manipulate matter and energy, and molecularly restructure or animate matter at will, even transmuting elements or creating objects. He can also project energy in various forms for offensive and defensive use, including bolts of cosmic force and erection of force shields." That seems to be all you need to know.
4 (127) WOLVERINE Something with the claws could make for a good slam, naw? Movie trailer looks good, as a side note.
5 (899) THE THING Talk about breaking the backboard, eh? This dude could straight thunder. You ever see the clip in Mallrats where Stan Lee comes out of nowhere? This is a family website, so we won't elaborate on the joke. Funny though.

HONORABLE MENTION
RANK (YESTERDAY) WHAT WHY
18 (144) THOR Would be fun to see him run around with all that clunky armor, yet still slam it home. Was anyone else confused by the role Thor played in the flick Adventures in Babysitting? We were.
28 (701) DR. MANHATTAN Needed to get a Watchmen reference in here. The dude could probably do some crazy junk, considering he can transport to other planets at will and has basically no regard for human existence. (Kevin Harlan just smiled.) Should probably be noted here that we're not trying to be funny. We're actually legitimately thinking about this stuff. We need a life.

RISING AND FALLING
MOVEMENT WHAT
STORM (Good to see a woman in a "man's league." Also, controlling the weather could be an advantage.)
JUSTICE LEAGUE (Click the link, watch the clip. Horrific.)


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