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The Morning According to Us

A soccer team you couldn't be on by any other name.

by Brian Hill

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"Shirley Temple. Rocks."

An Italian amateur league soccer team may very well hold the distinction of being the most unified team in the sports world. One can ascribe the uncanny cohesiveness to a single, unique feature—they all share the same surname.

Everyone.

From the players to the coach to the team doctors to the sponsors. Hell, even the street on which the home field resides carries the name. De Feo. Make that Team De Feo. Club founder, Maurizio De Feo, wants to confab with Guinness to seek world record status. Amusing? Sure. A tad trivial? Perhaps. But we call it refreshing in an era of team sports where the only name that bonds players together is the one held by their agents. Team Boras, Team Tellem, Team Rosenhaus. You get the picture, right?

Let's face it, pro sports franchises are essentially nameless, their rosters replete with nomads in search of the next big paycheck and the elusive ring bling. Sure, the ownership and front office folks helped cultivate the mercenary clubhouse culture, but we can still acknowledge its existence.

Manny re-inks a deal with the Dodgers, sending fans into a frenzy. Word of caution, Blue Crew: Manny's about the Money. He'll run hard after the cash, but jog casually to first base. He can carry a team on his back, but should he grow disgruntled, he'll quit on the club, exiting a game to hit the highway quicker than well…you fans. We kid. Sort of.

T.O.'s been cut by the Cowboys, a long overdue move by the club from Big "D", as in Dysfunctionality. The aged receiver's moniker could stand for "Teammates Offended".

And the name "Marbury"will actually be visible on the back of an NBA uniform these days. Stephon's actually going to play! Surprise, surprise! One's mood certainly elevates when you join the powerhouse Celtics, doesn't it?

While there are critics of the World Baseball Classic, the international hardball experiment does offer a glimpse of the very thing that's sorely needed in professional sports—selfless, true team players. These seamheads are playing for country and each other, risking the wrath of their MLB employers. Ditch the last names on the back of the unis, it's what's embroidered in front that truly matters.

So, cheers to Team De Feo. Sometimes you really do get to play where everybody knows your name.


Elsewhere…

In North Carolina, a bill could become a law that would nuke the sports teams if the grades aren't there.

An athlete is forced to toss "her" medals after she learns she was really a man. Hate it when that happens.

Manchester City is set to do it again, offer the unthinkable.


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