Return Of The Dark Lord

With his movie (and career) in need of a happy ending, trailer park kid turned gravity sports icon Shaun Palmer isn't waiting for his X Games return to get the party started. Did you expect him to?

VITALS Shaun Palmer
AGE 38
BASE South Lake Tahoe, Calif.
DISCIPLINE Boarder
X X FILES Six gold medals (1997: downhill mountain bike, boarder X; 1998: boarder X; 1999, boarder X; 2000, skier X; 2001, ultracross)
OD'S One
VICES Too many to mention

PUT THIS ON YOUR COVER: me and Shaun White, facing off like Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed. We each have six X Games gold medals. I'm coming back after three years for the tiebreaker. Everybody tells me, "The sport's level has gone up, man. You're not going to be able to jump right back in." Well, you got that wrong. I know boardercross better than anybody. If I'm fit, I'm still the fastest guy out there.

I'M TRYING TO CHANGE MY LIFE, get back on top of the podium, without all the crazy BS. I don't drink anymore, hardly. A couple beers and that's it. I've got the party guy about 50% under control. Still, I miss him. That guy didn't care. That guy was fun.

MONEY'S GOOD ONLY IF YOU'VE GOT A STABLE LIFE. It caused me all kinds of problems.

EVEN WHEN I WIN, I'M ANGRY. My dad left soon as I was born. That's what made me mean and gave me that drive—to show my dad I was good enough. I'm over that, but I still love standing up on that podium and looking down at the other guys, knowing I was better than them.

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH SPACE in this magazine to talk about the old days. After a win, it was bottles of Crown Royal for me and all my buddies. Dumbest thing I ever did was get arrested on the California-Nevada state line for air-traffic controlling naked in the middle of the highway. Then again, I still think that was pretty cool.

AT MY AGE it takes more working out, more stretching, better nutrition, all the stuff for the old body. I learned that training for motocross. As many sports as I've done—downhill mountain biking, skier X, you name it—motocross guys have more endurance than anybody.

I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO LOSE. Never had to.

WHEN MY MOTOCROSS SPONSORS BAILED ON ME IN MAY 2005, I WENT DRINKING. Did so much coke and pills and booze that I blacked out like Jimi Hendrix or Janis. Ended up in a medevac helicopter. Luckily, my heart was strong enough to hold out. If I died from an OD, I wouldn't be disappointed. Because that's what 80% of my life was like.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S THE GREATEST COMEBACK STORY, but it's a good one. I woke up with all these tubes down my throat. Said, I need to turn this around. So I asked a friend to find out how to make the Olympic team in boardercross. Whatever it takes. Six months later, I was almost there.

TEARING YOUR ACHILLES TENDON SUCKS. I pretty much qualified for Team USA in January of 2006. At the next World Cup race, in Italy, I took a high line on this fast, G'd-out berm. The light was flat, and I didn't see the hole. I was on toe edge, and it jarred my calves down. Ripped my Achilles in half. There goes the Olympics.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON SKIER X. I was the first guy to compete in boarder and skier X at the X Games, in 2000. Back-to-back days. I almost won 'em both, and I plan on doing it again. It's cool that Daron Rahlves is racing skier X this year. I respect a guy who goes outside his event, but this is a different animal.

A ROLE MODEL? That's tough. You get your picture in magazines, you get on TV, and kids start looking up to you. Looking those kids in the eye, that changed me.

I'M STILL SEARCHING FOR THE HAPPY ENDING. I was supposed to finish my documentary—Shaun Palmer: Miserable Champion—at the Olympics. My way, my music, my lifestyle. Make it real, whether people like it or not. We screened a teaser of it in Aspen last year. Emotionally devastating. This X Games will probably be the new ending. I'm not retiring without another gold medal around my neck.

WHAT IF? What if I had focused my whole career on one sport? What if I had stayed clean? Well, then I wouldn't be Shaun Palmer, now, would I?

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