The Morning According To Us: Not Your Father's Masters Anymore

"It makes Bethpage Black look like a pitch and putt."

Getty Images

Good luck, "brah."

It's getting harder to watch The Masters: there are no shots left to shape. "My gosh it's brutal," Greg Norman told the media yesterday. "Makes Bethpage Black look like a pitch and putt, it really does."

Let's go over the numbers. The course is now 7,445 yards long, 520 yards longer than when Tiger won in 1997. Compared to 15 years ago, there are now 10 fewer birdies on average on the two par-5's on the back 9. In 2007, champion Zach Johnson never once attempted to reach either of those in two. In 1986, by contrast, Jack Nicklaus almost holed a second shot on 15 with a 3-iron. "The golf course has changed quite a bit," Jim Furyk said yesterday. "You don't go out there looking to shoot super-low rounds because they are not out there any more." Last year Trevor Immelman shot a 75 on Sunday and won by three strokes.

That's not fun to watch. Or, it's only fun once a year, which is why God made the U.S. Open. Tiger-proofing any course ensures homogeneity among all courses: a fear of embarrassment is in the DNA of each course designer.

So, instead we watch a slow march to the 18th hole, during this week or any other. What's funny is that Bobby Jones, that old amateur player and professional gentleman, thought all those years ago to give the masses a game as beautiful as Georgia in the spring time. Golf back then was a monotous affair across rough-hewn, poorly managed courses. He created something approaching perfection. But you wouldn't know that any more.

Print Article . Email Article. Subscribe to The Magazine