Fantasy World: The Expendables

These expendable players just might give your team the edge.

Getty Images

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

The Expendables. Everyone has some on their roster. They're the players you get late in the draft when everyone's blood sugar gets low and fuses get short. Your eyes start to blur, the headaches start to take hold and, hey, that name looks kind of familiar. I'll take him. Fast-forward three hours later to your post-draft analysis and you're wondering how Eric Chavez ended up on your bench. As such, these low-risk/low-reward veterans are usually the first ones to get jettisoned to the waiver wire to clear room for some young rookie.

But as this past week's box office champion Fast & Furious showed us, it's not always smart to count out an old wily, veteran. (Side-note: How many stars from the original The Fast & The Furious do you think left the premiere of that first movie thinking it would catapult them into super-stardom and they'd never again have to be in a sequel? Just curious.) So, if one of the following geriatrics ends up on waivers after an owner pulls the trigger a bit too quickly, go ahead and give them another shot. You can always drop them in a week.

(Note: If you're in a smaller league, feel free to ignore most of this column. These are really only for the deeper leagues out there.)

Garret Anderson
Just because he's not longer playing across the street from Disneyland doesn't mean he's any less predictable. As long as he stays healthy -- a relatively decent-sized "if," seeing as the 36-going-on-54-year-old was dealing with a strained calf during the preseason -- Anderson will give you 15 HRs and won't kill your average in the process. That's worth a fill-in role in any league.

Travis Hafner
If Pronk gets off to a slow start, his owners will see that .197 batting average from last year and start acting like an Orange County divorcee, dropping his 32-year-old body for the most attractive, legal-aged youngster on the horizon. When they do, pounce on him like said O.C. cougar and give him a shot for a few weeks. You won't find anyone else with his 40-HR power potential on the waivers.

Jose Contreras
There's a reason Jose's the only pitcher on the list: they don't have as much room for slow starts as hitters, since every team has a pack of younger pitchers hovering around like vultures in Triple-A. But if Contreras gets off to a rough start, he has the bonus of being employed by the White Sox, a team that doesn't have a whole lot of pitching to fall back on, as evidenced by their placement of Bartolo Colon in the rotation. Obviously Jose's not going to rock your pitching world but, if you can pluck him off waivers, he's a candidate for 10 wins and a good fill-in guy for AL-only leagues.

Russell Branyan
The Mariners are planning on platooning between former Royal great Mike Sweeney and Branyan at first base, but these kind of plans usually end up falling by the wayside by May. If owners begin getting frustrated with the M's flip-flopping and dump him, take a chance on Branyan quickly winning the job outright -- Sweeney's a "former" great for a reason -- giving your bench a guy with 20-HR power.

Nick Swisher
Like Branyan, Swisher is going to be on the light end of playing time to start the year as the Yankees try to build fan excitement by starting their best nine for the first few weeks. But by mid-April, Swisher should start getting extra at-bats as he occasionally spells aging veterans Hideki Matsui, Xavier Nady, Johnny Damon and even newcomer Mark Teixeria. If another owner needs to clear room by dumping him, you can do worse than sticking this bounce-back candidate on your bench.

Joe Crede
Seeing as Crede is the 23rd-ranked third baseman on ESPN's projection list, he's going to be cast off pretty quickly if he gets off to a slow start. A healthy Crede should be worth about 20 HRs and a .250 average, not bad for an AL-only league.

Ivan Rodriguez
Whoever took a flier on Pudge at the draft is no doubt waiting for just one & little & excuse to dump him as soon as possible. His 0-for-Opening-Day might even have him on a few waivers already. While he's not going to break out and put your team over the top, if he gets his at-bats -- and who's going to steal them, Humberto Quintero? -- Pudge will be good for another year of near .300 batting average with double-digit HRs and steals. That easily puts him in the top 10 catchers for NL-only leagues.

Five Other Expendables to Redeem:

• Scott Rolen
• Rod Barajas
• Marcus Thames
• Mark Ellis
• Jamie Moyer

Player On My Team of the Week: Adam Lind, who started off his campaign to be, as one owner in my AL-only league put it, "this year's Carlos Quentin," by having himself an extraordinary opener: 4-for-5 with a home run, two runs and a Blue Jays opening day record six RBIs.

How to Heckle One of My Players of the Week: "Hey, Brandon Morrow, know how you wanted to be closer? Be careful what you wish for."

The Awesome Movie Remake Rumor of the Week: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid starring John Travolta and Tom Cruise. No word yet if they'll be robbing thetans instead of banks. Or running from psychiatrists instead of sheriffs. (I'm sure you can write your own third joke here.)

Buy High: Sending a message, after a rare megamouth shark was captured and eaten in the Philippines. While it's a "filter feeder," meaning it stays away from eating humans, with a name like "megamouth" it's probably best we let them know not to mess with us. You can never be too sure they won't get dieting tips from Great Whites.

Sell Low: Clever titles, after ads promoting the new fighting movie starring Channing Tatum and Terrence Howard began airing. As the ads state, the movie is called, cleverly enough, Fighting.

Print Article . Email Article. Subscribe to The Magazine