NFL Schedule Release: Ten Things To Look For

This isn't meant to be a serious, journalistically-probing piece. This is meant to offer some "fun" looks at the 2009 NFL schedule.

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How did we involve Lindsay Lohan in this? Read on.

The '09 NFL schedule comes out at 7pm today, on NFL.Com and the NFL Network, but ESPN's NFL page should also have you covered. If you want super-serious, AccuScore-laden projections of the upcoming season, you should go there at 6:59pm and keep clicking refresh like a lunatic. If you want some "fun" (yes, we're using that term loosely), you should read this. Please understand the difference.

THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR SCHEDULING QUESTION
If the Eagles play the Chargers, that will pit Kendra Wilkinson's soon-to-be husband Hank Baskett against her favorite team of all-time.

THE AFC TEAM OF THE DECADE QUESTION
The Steelers have two Super Bowls this decade. The Patriots have three. You could make arguments for other teams, sure, but these are probably the two best AFC programs since 2000. Would be cool if they hook up, although honestly, it'd be much cooler if they hooked up January 2010 in "A Battle for Decade Dominance."

BEARS VS. BRONCOS
Fun, not just for the obvious reasons: eye candy on both sides, eh? Bears | Broncos.

LIONS VS. RAMS
If this happens, it'd be cool. We think Schwartz and "Spags" are going to be good NFL coaches. Know what else is cool? If it happened late-season, and Matthew Stafford was starting for Detrioit, Chris Long would probably get around end a few times and just pulverize the kid. "Welcome to the league, rook." Semi-ironic, right?

TEXANS VS. BILLS
Anyone else think these two teams could win 10 games each in 2009? They seem like sleepers.

THE COWBOYS' FIRST GAME
Almost guarantee it's a national focus game. Question 1: how good can they be, or, conversely, how quickly the wheels fall off? Question 2: is Mike Shanahan sitting in his E-Z Boy smirking when it's over?

49ERS VS. PACKERS
This might be a stretch, but this could be the NFC equivalent of Texans vs. Bills above. Cue the peanut gallery: "San Francisco doesn't have a QB!" Cue us: Mike Singletary is a warrior.

HOW THE RAIDERS SCHEDULE SHAKES OUT
This is intriguing to us. Like, was JaMarcus Russell valued because he waxed ND in a bowl game, or is he good? Is Darren McFadden gonna blow up? How much will Al Davis meddle? AFC West seems winnable for anyone: Denver has a rookie coach and just lost a good QB, Chargers can be awesome but have been inconsistent, and the Chiefs are probably a year away from relevance again. (Vrabel + Thomas = their defense will learn quick.) Sidebar: if you're around 22-29, do you even remember how proud that franchise once was? Prolly not.

COWBOYS VS. TITANS
This game would be cool. Both teams are talented, and the contrasts between Kerry Collins and Tony Romo are intriguing enough that someone could write a meandering, 4,000-word article for some blog on them. However, real reason: Romo's current paramour, Jessica Simpson, is getting waxed by the country industry. His old flame, Carrie Underwood, is waxing said industry. Tennessee fans could have some fun with 'dis.

JETS VS. RAVENS
Ever play Wii near a mirror? That's what 'dis would be like.

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