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The Morning According to Us

Mr. Irrelevant isn't so irrelevant to those who celebrate him.

by Paul Kix

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You'll always be relevant, in our eyes.

The only thing worse than being selected last in the NFL Draft is to be selected last and have the name Ryan Succop. Or maybe it's to be selected last -- by the Kansas City Chiefs mind you -- have SUCK-up as your pronounceable surname, and learn that Orange County, California will make fun of you for one week. Well, and celebrate you too.

Paul Salata, a former USC standout, hosts something called Irrelevant Week each year. For the uninitiated: Now in its 33rd year, Irrelevant Week brings the last pick in the draft to Newport Beach, sends him out on a sail, buys him a Rolex, and then mercilessly roasts him at a banquet, where he is presented the Lowsman Trophy, the opposite of the Heisman, Salata likes to say. The whole point is to find clever, or at least debased, ways to play off the name Succop. No, actually the it's to celebrate the underdog, and wish him well, because Mr. Irrelevant could not be thought of less.

That's not to say that Succop, formerly a kicker for the South Carolina Gamecocks (hey, there's gotta be some jokes in that!), won't succeed. He punted, kicked off, and was the team's placekicker. Mark Sanchez wishes he had Succop's versatility. Still, it doesn't bode well that in Succop's injury-plagued senior season he made only 20 of 30 field goals, including four misses from at least 50 yards out. But he need only look for inspiration to last year's Mr. Irrelevant, the University of Idaho's David Vobora. He started at linebacker for the Rams. The week of ridicule did the man some good.


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