The Morning According to Us

Just when things seemed still in the Bronx, another saga.

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Boston fans are lethal.

Alex Rodriguez took live batting practice this week, participated in sliding drills, (successfully avoiding a salivating media, mind you) and inched closer and closer to a return to his pinstriped partners. That's right, circle May 15th on your calendar, fellow seamheads, because this is when we officially declare the start of the Major League Baseball season.

"Play Ball!"

A-Rod has made a mental note, at least, of May 4th , the release date of seasoned SI scribe Selena Roberts' tell-all book entitled, "A-Rod". Allegations abound, including A-Rod's steroid use dating back to high school, his continued usage with the Yankees, and, oh the horror of it, his stingy tipping at his favorite Hooter's haunt. Baseball is all about timing, after all, and this book couldn't have arrived at a worse moment for Rodriguez. Note to Yankees front office: set up another big tent for A-Rod and his already weary teammates because the media circus is a comin' to town.

Even if the Bronx Bombers manage to successfully navigate this ship -- okay, massive, leaky, luxury yacht -- into safe waters, A-Rod isn't the antidote for the Yankees real "performance" problem on the baseball diamond: their anemic pitching. Through Wednesday's games, the struggling staff posted an ERA of 5.88 (MLB ranked 29th), allowing an average of 6.3 runs per game. Playing the hot corner, A-Rod can't chase down all those screaming Rawlings flying out to right field. Hell, even the right fielder doesn't stand a chance.

So in light of the recent events, we thought we'd offered the Yankees promotional suggestions to make the most of this stressful soap opera we fondly call, "The Days of A-Rod's Life." Fill up those vacant lower box seats and celebrate No. 13's return to the field with "Bring your Cousin to the Stadium Night". All tix are 2-for-1 pricing! And then there's "Boli Night in the Bronx"; the first fan who deciphers what this substance actually is receives a pair of season tickets for each year left on A-Rod's contract with the Yankees.

All kidding aside, this is, undoubtedly, the Yankees most challenging season in recent memory. The proud organization was perhaps slightly embarrassed by Jacoby Ellsbury's steal of home -- it almost felt symbolic; A-Rod's steroid saga could very well steal, for the mean time, the franchise's identity.

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