The World's Game (According to Us)

When is Chelsea's defense too good?

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Drogba cares not for your "offense."

More than fans of most other sports, soccer fans tend to distinguish between the final score of a match (the result) and the story of the match (the play). Often they invoke notions of justice, deciding whether a result was "fair." Barcelona fans tend to go a bit further, waxing philosophical about the grand mission of their team. They attack. They dazzle. They play. It's a moral imperative.

So when Chelsea came to town last week for the first leg of the Champions League semifinal (the second leg is today in London) and played a defensive game that ended 0-0, the Barca fans were up in arms. It wasn't only a poor result; it was downright despicable. A local newspaper called Chelsea's performance "mean-spirited, dull, destructive." Another showed a cartoon scoreboard reading "Those Who Played Football 0-0 Those Who Didn't Play At All."

Barcelona players agreed. "Barcelona were the only team who wanted to play," defender Gerard Piqué said, "At least we know we're superior because we showed that on the pitch."

Our favorite response (we thank the Guardian for compiling some of these) was a Spanish columnist's attack on Chelsea for leaving striker Didier Drogba alone up front, occasionally lofting him long balls. "What would you take on a desert island? … You could always go to Didier Drogba for suggestions. He had 89 minutes to think about it last night, 89 minutes to choose a book, a CD, to go for a mobile phone or a Swiss army knife or a lighter to make fires. Every now and then Piqué or Márquez visited him as they went to collect some strange object his teammates occasionally sent his way, always by air mail."

Barca's coach Pep Guardiola then took the question of justice a bit farther and put it to the referee. He argued that it was unfair that his team received as many yellow cards as Chelsea when Chelsea was playing so defensively. "If one team is attacking then that should count in their favor," he said. "We are fair. Before the game I said to the players: No hard tackles and no fouls. That was our philosophy."

Philosophy again. Should a team be rewarded for its philosophy? If Chelsea was a plucky little club from some far corner of the earth with no money, its performance would be hailed as heroic, valiant, historic. But it is not. Chelsea comes from London; the club is owned by a billionaire. It buys players like candies so should it be required, by some board of soccer ethics, to play with a bit of flair?

Barcelona's Brazilian right back Dani Alves, who attacks from every angle of the field, seems to think his philosophical mind will triumph over brawn. "We believe," he said, "that you can beat physical strength with intelligence, and that's what we'll be looking to do against Chelsea and then against Arsenal or Manchester United in the final. We want to make sure there is no all-English final, no English win in Rome. We will use our intelligence to beat their force. The mind will overcome the body."

Alves relied on a long-standing national stereotype: The English are brutes. It doesn't seem to matter that Chelsea's Dutch coach employed a Serbian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Ghanaian, a Nigerian, a Frenchman, a Czech, a German, an Ivorian and only two Englishmen in the starting lineup. Nor did it seem to matter that attacking requires the use of the body (No one can use it quite like Lionel Messi) and that defending can take some brains. The BBC hailed Chelsea's "spirited defensive performance," and many commentators praised coach Guus Hiddink's tactics for their result, if not for their morals.

When Barcelona went on to dismantle Real Madrid -- majestically, beautifully, philosophically -- on Saturday, Ray Hudson, the overcaffeinated Scottish announcer on Gol TV, was still bemoaning the Chelsea game. Madrid had "too much pride," he said, to play like that. But Madrid lost 6-2.

Perhaps Chelsea captain John Terry was right. "It was a fantastic performance, and to not concede a goal is delightful," he said after last week's draw. "Hopefully going back to the Bridge we can use that to our advantage." We'll see.

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