Auction Block: Finals Swag

Lil Penny's old team versus The Late Show? Time to shop.

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Shaq and Penny, back when. We miss Lil' Penny, as well.

Well, the entire nation is abuzz with NBA Finals fever, as we eagerly await the superstar matchup between Kobe Bryant and LeBron James.

Alrighty then -- on with the making of lemonade.

In all seriousness, it's tough to know what to think of this Finals matchup. There's no doubt that the NBA would have preferred the marquee Bron-Bron/Black Mamba matchup, and the ratings bonanza it would have engendered, but there's a lot to be said for the Magic vs. Lakers series we'll be seeing instead.

Los Angeles has the greatest scorer in the game in Kobe Bryant. Orlando has one of the game's most dominant big men in Dwight Howard. Howard is a four-year veteran who skipped college altogether. Rookie shooting guard Courtney Lee is the same age as Howard -- 23 -- but he spent his full term at Western Kentucky before moving on to the NBA. Los Angeles is still trotting out Derek Fisher, the 34-year-old point guard who helped the franchise to a championship three-peat to start the new millennium.

The Lakers play in an arena named after an office-supply store. The Magic play in a building named after a company that has been cleared of Ponzi scheme allegations by the Federal Trade Commission, thank you very much.

Both teams have employed Shaquille O'Neal.

The coaches are an interesting contrast, as well. Phil Jackson is the Zen Master. He's won scads of titles in Chicago and Los Angeles. He writes books. He dates the boss' daughter. He's a dapper, philosophical gent.

Stan Van Gundy, on the other hand, has been called "The Master of Panic". He was shoved aside to make way for Pat Riley in Miami, and then hired by the Magic only when Billy Donovan decided he liked Gainesville better than Orlando. On a good day, he sort of resembles a high school algebra teacher.

To put it in terms we can all understand, it's the soul patch versus the porn 'stache. No other word for it.

Yeah, we'll all miss LeBron James. No doubt about it. But if you want some affordable collectibles, you're probably better off looking for Rashard Lewis rookie cards than those of Sir James.

To wit:

Anfernee Hardaway jersey: The old-fashioned pinstripe version of the uniform. Just wanted to give a shoutout to Penny, and Li'l Penny.

Derek Fisher playing card: Apparently the Chinese play poker with NBA-themed playing cards. Derek Fisher is a three of clubs. No respect, even with all those rings.

Dwight Howard game-worn jersey: Not sure why a seller would start an item like this at $.99, but sometimes that's what gets the sharks circling and starts a bidding war.

Pau Gasol window cling: If this sucker were life-sized, I'd hang it on my sliding glass door to scare away home invaders. "Warning! This home is protected by a hirsute Spaniard who has a nice first step for a seven-footer! WARNING!"

Kobe's Christmas Kicks: Black shoes worn by Mamba in a Christmas Day game against the Miami Heat. No word on what became of his stockings.

Shaq in Orlando: This happened so long ago it's hard to even remember it. But Shaq proved his immense potential early in his career by taking the Magic to the Finals against the Houston Rockets. He was good, but he was no match for The Dream.

Courtney Lee Topps Hardwood Rookie: Lee is livin' the dream in his first season out of Western Kentucky. The Hilltoppers made a habit out of pulling the David/Goliath upsets in college, so Lee isn't likely to be intimidated.

Stan Van Gundy autographed photo: The funny thing about this photo is that Pat Riley is in the foreground, ignoring Van Gundy as he gestures broadly. Is he begging for his job back? If so, Riles isn't buying.

Phil Jackson '73 player card: OK, I made fun of Van Gundy for his porn 'stache above. But it is worth noting that Jackson had a wicked caterpillar upon his own lip once upon a time. Some of that is still lurking beneath the hipster exterior. That's what makes him a legend.

Heard about a great local sports auction? Let us know about it at collectespn@gmail.com

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