Up Front

There are still folks I haven't met. (Anyone got Oprah's digits?)

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The beauty of being a sports journalist is that you get to meet a whole bunch of interesting people. Ya know, the folks your average Joe the Plumber never meets unless a member of the security detail misses an assignment or a friend of a friend comes up with floor seats. Yet here I am in the midst of a season that's supposed to make me feel jolly, and instead all I feel is that something's missing.

Sure, I've met everyone from Michael Jordan to Joe Montana, Jay Leno to David Letterman, Beyoncé to Gabrielle Union (smile!), the reverend Al Sharpton to president-elect Barack Obama himself. I'm lucky to have interviewed some and been interviewed by others—or at least had an in-depth talk with them. I have a lot of boldface connections, so what's my problem?

Initially, I chalked up my mood to the holiday season and the economy, knowing I have a bunch of nieces and nephews who are long on Christmas wants and short on sympathy for yours truly. After further thought, though, I realized that while I could easily hang my own wall of fame with the people I've met, there are still notables with whom I've never had the pleasure of conversing. So I'm letting you know who they are in the hope that a Charisse in Chicago or a Dave in Dallas might spread me a little holiday cheer. C'mon—who's going to step up and help me connect with any of the 10 folks on my holiday wish list? They're not all sports figures, but they are all alive—otherwise my list would include Jesse Owens, Jackie Robinson, Frank Sinatra, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X and, of course, the one and only Mr. Howard Cosell. God bless them all.

Now please don't read anything into the following names; don't even try to build a character profile of me. These are just folks I'd like to get with right now. Indulge me! (It goes without saying that I'm hoping some of these celebs will see this column. They read The Mag too, right?)

Oprah
I absolutely love this woman with all my heart, and I'm grateful for all she's done for so many. She's helped make this world a better place. But there's still not a man alive who doesn't have a bone to pick with her. Fellas—how many of you have ever gotten attitude from your lady and immediately wanted to blame Oprah? What? She empowers women? Yes, and that's why I love her. Amen!

Muhammad Ali
He's the only athlete I've ever idolized, whose autograph I would seek. He's the Greatest of All Time, and one of the world's most courageous athletes.

Jennifer Lopez
Mind you, this is without Marc Anthony and the twins. And if you have to ask what I mean, I'm not about to explain it!

Yo Dale, can we hit a NASCAR event?

Dale Earnhardt Jr.
I've never been to a NASCAR event, but I saw Junior in Jay-Z's "Show Me What You Got" video, and I hear he's a big hip-hop fan. That's good enough for me. Yo, Dale, how about chaperoning a brother during a race one weekend? Please!

Tiger Woods
He's the greatest golfer in the world and one of the greatest winners of all time. Maybe he can't bail out GM, but he can definitely help a guy with a handicap in the triple digits. Trust me.

Goldberg
He's retired and not mixing it up in WWE anymore, but his special-effects-laden entrance from the locker room to the ring is still the greatest entertainment Vince McMahon & Co. ever provided. Loved it! Even more than I loved Hulk Hogan and his music—"I am a real A-me-ri-can"—back in the day. Or Ric Flair, for that matter. Whoo!

The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Every single one of them. Hey, they're a significant part of the fabric of America. You can't argue with me on this (though I'm sure some of you will)!

Mike Tyson
The man bit Evander Holyfield's ear. He also antagonized Lennox Lewis by threatening to eat his children, just seconds before saying, "Praise be to Allah." Forgive me, but you can't go wrong with an Iron Mike interview. The potential is always huge.

Serena Williams
It's all good, especially if she's wearing the catsuit. As far as what I'd want to talk to her about … uh, how about her resurrected tennis career and her goals after she walks away from the game once and for all? That's my official answer, and I'm sticking to it.

Dr. Phil
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I firmly believe this man has MY JOB! Seriously. If only Oprah had called me first. Damn.

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