ESPN Mixed Martial Arts

There's an unwritten rule that you can't root in the media box. Sportswriters are supposed to be models of nonpartisanship, bastions of impartiality hired to deliver news in objective fashion. But MMA icon Randy Couture is a fight figure who can test even the most neutral of reporters.

Couture was away from the game for almost 15 months. He came back into the UFC fold after an ultra-acrimonious separation, and he returned to take on the mountainous Brock Lesnar, a cocky fighter who had the temerity to think he deserved a title crack after a mere three professional mixed martial arts bouts.

Who out there who was not a member of Lesnar's family and training team wasn't rooting for Couture to show the 31-year-old upstart that size ain't all that, and that age is just a number? But the main event at UFC 91 in Las Vegas on Saturday taught us that sometimes size does matter, and so does age, for that matter.

Here are our five takeaways from UFC 91, which will forever be known as the night Lesnar (3-1) yanked the torch from Couture (16-9).

We knew that Lesnar had solid wrestling chops coming in. He was a two time All-American at Minnesota and had a 106-5 mark when he graduated. And we knew he had the speed to aid him in snagging those violent takedowns. After all, he once ran 40 meters in 4.75 seconds.

But what we didn't really know until now is how dangerous his hands are. Lesnar's striking is of a high level, and if you don't believe us, just ask Couture's temple. The right hand in the second round that sent Couture into la-la land let UFC heavies know they'd better be ready to contend with a well-rounded fighter. Lesnar is built like a brick house, but his footwork is nifty. Plus, his balance is good when he's boxing, so his next foe will have to target another area to exploit.

We know, we know. Lesnar is supposed to fight the winner of the Antonio Nogueira-Frank Mir scrap, which will unfold at UFC 92 on Dec. 27.

But we're considering starting a petition to ask the winner of that fight to step aside and let Couture have another crack at Lesnar. Think about it. Couture hadn't fought since he defeated Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 74 in August 2007. His mind and body had been slave to his legal battle over his contract status with the UFC, so it isn't out of the realm of possibility that physically and mentally, Couture wasn't at his best against Lesnar.

Make it happen, Dana. Surely Nog or Mir could be persuaded to wait a bit longer if you tuck a little something extra into their holiday stocking …

Who can point to a more unassuming fighter who delivers a more believable, cold declaration of imminent destruction than Kenny Florian?

"I'm going to go out there to destroy Joe Stevenson," Florian said before his scrap with Stevenson (29-9).

Florian then went out and dominated Stevenson from the moment the first bell rang, making him tap out at 4:03 of the first round via rear-naked choke. If UFC lightweight champ BJ Penn underestimates the Massachusetts fighter, he does so at his own peril.

Florian (11-3) might look like a dude who does the 9-to-5 cubicle thing, but he fights as if his foes owe him money.

Dustin Hazelett (12-4) won the night's "can't judge a book by its cover" award. The welterweight came to the ring to Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Bad Moon Rising." Great tune, but it's one that's not exactly fear-inducing. His beard makes him look more than a bit like Dustin "Screech" Diamond. But the kid is a technical whiz, and he made Tamdan McCrory (9-2) a believer with an armbar submission in the first.

Hazelett's a dangerous, submission-minded fighter, and he can earn himself a title crack after two or three more wins.

Shouldn't there be some concrete criteria before a fighter can use the nickname "The Immortal"? Sure, "The Ultimate Fighter 7" alumnus Matt Brown showed decent skills against Ryan Thomas (9-3) and closed the show in efficient fashion with the armbar in the second round. But that win just put him over the .500 hump. Brown is now 8-7.

We might be missing something here. Maybe the nickname is full-on tongue-in-cheek. If so, we like the irony. If not, maybe readers can suggest a new nickname.

Michael Woods, the managing editor of TheSweetScience.com, has written for ESPN The Magazine, GQ and The New York Observer.