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I have a lot of phrases for which I'm known.

"Never pay for saves."
"May I buy you a drink?"
"OK, maybe next time."

But one of my favorites is: "We play with numbers, not names."

Player A: 24 home runs, 88 RBIs, .285 average.
Player B: 26 home runs, 96 RBIs, .269 average.

Can we agree that both players are basically the same? Some might want the slight increase of power in Player B, I'd prefer the higher average of Player A.

And that's taken at face value. Let's add a new wrinkle to this.

Player A's stats are major league stats. Player B's stats are minor league.

Now which player do you want?

But wait. That's not all. (Suddenly I'm a late-night infomercial).

Player A's numbers are actually an average of the past five years. Player B's home runs and RBIs are combined from Double-A and Triple-A in 2007 only, while the batting average is just from Triple-A.

Now which player do you want? The consistent major leaguer or the guy who couldn't hit .270 in Triple-A last year?

I can only assume we're all hitching our wagons to Player A, right? At least, we should be.

But you're not. Because player A is Aubrey Huff. Boring, unsexy, no upside, owned-in-only-58-percent-of-ESPN.com-standard-leagues Aubrey Huff. He's 20 and 80 in the bank. He's a career .284 hitter.

Instead, everyone is choosing Player B, otherwise known as trendy rookie Evan Longoria. I said it on national TV Sunday morning and I'll say it here: Barring injury, Aubrey Huff will wind up with better overall fantasy numbers than Evan Longoria.

My projection for Longoria is 20 and 80 with a .260 average. You can throw Ryan Braun's name at me all you want, but seasons like Braun's 2007 are very rare indeed. Generally, players do not do better in their first season in the majors than they did in the minors. So if we're saying his ceiling is 26 and 95 (done in 136 games, so maybe he gets a few more with Tampa Bay, but not many more), then 20 and 80 is very reasonable and you could argue even a bit optimistic.

This is a different discussion if it's a keeper league, of course. But assuming it's a one-year league, I would be trading away Longoria to someone who covets the hot rookie, then I'd go pick up boring ol' Huff and laugh on the way to bank.

Here are two more players:

Player A: 10 home runs, 10 stolen bases, .342 average, 292 at-bats.
Player B: 13 home runs, 10 stolen bases, .288 average, 645 at bats.

Player A is clearly the more productive player, as he accomplishes the same stats in half the at-bats. And hits for a much higher average. Which is why I don't understand why people keep asking me about Matt Kemp versus Delmon Young. It's early, of course, but Kemp is still on pace for 500 at-bats. He's going to be 20/20 this year and better than Young, but trust me, Young would cost you a lot more at the Fantasy Bazaar than Mr. Kemp.

One more and then I will get to some "Just Sayings." This one I am doing in reverse. So in my TRUM last week, I had some more bold predictions. One in particular caught a lot of flak in the ESPN Conversation (beta!) section.

Oldrasputin14: Corey Hart ends the year with better numbers than Grady Sizemore? No way.

Bgd101: … I think you're falling too in love with Corey Hart. I'd seriously think about getting some help for that obsession. Sizemore is and will be one of the game's greats for a number of years. In my mind he does everything better than Hart except be tall.

OK, but look at their numbers from last season:

Sizemore: 628 at-bats, 118 runs, 24 home runs, 78 RBIs, 33 steals, .277 average
Hart: 505 at-bats, 86 runs, 24 home runs, 81 RBIs, 23 steals, .295 average.

Hart had 123 fewer at-bats and still beat or tied Sizemore in three of five categories.

Now, let's check in on them this year, through Sunday.

Sizemore: 48 at-bats, 5 runs, 1 home run, 8 RBIs, 3 steals, .313 average.
Hart: 44 at-bats, 8 runs, 0 home runs, 5 RBIs, 3 steals, .295 average.

Sizemore is off to a slightly better start, but my statement is not nearly as crazy as you think, now is it? And that's because we play with numbers and not names, my friends.

… That since June 1 of last year, Brian Bannister is 15-6 with a 3.31 ERA.

… That Gabe Kapler now has four home runs this season and 10 hits in his past 20 at-bats.

… That Wily Mo Pena was activated from the DL by the Nationals. After being traded to the National League last year, Wily Mo hit a home run every 16 at-bats. At that pace, if he gets 500 at bats, he'll hit 31 home runs. He's still only 26.

… That I've always liked Jayson Werth. He's plucky. And now that Shane Victorino is no longer Flyin', Werth has a lot of value. He'll hit second, filling in for the Hawaiian, and had the combo meal Sunday: a home run and two stolen bases.

… That Jeff Mathis of the Angels now has a home run in two straight games. Still like Napoli more, but still.

… That I am not buying Jeff Niemann. It was the Orioles. He'll get strikeouts, but beware your WHIP.

… That after giving up a grand slam Sunday, Kenny Rogers now is tied for the most grand slams allowed in MLB history. That has no fantasy relevance, I just like saying it. I hate Kenny Rogers.

… That Wandy Rodriguez continues to be lights-out at home. He has a 0.64 ERA, one win and 14 strikeouts in two home starts this year. He is owned in only 31 percent of ESPN.com standard leagues.

… That if the Johnny Cueto owner in my league was willing to sell at a discount after Sunday's performance, I'd do in a heartbeat. He still struck out six and gave up only one walk. The underlying numbers were still very good.

… That the VW ads with the cars with German accents weird me out.

… That Mike Jacobs of the Marlins very quietly has five home runs and is hitting .298. He has 47 home runs since the start of the 2006 season.

… That people are bailing on Manny Parra way too early. It's one bad start and he still has 11 strikeouts in nine innings pitched.

… That it's looking better, but I still don't trust Trevor Hoffman or Eric Gagne yet.

… That Joba Chamberlain has three holds and a win in his first four games, without giving up a run. Why would you put him in the rotation?

… That this is my new schedule: columns on Mondays and Fridays, a blog on Wednesdays.

… That much has been made of Justin Upton's five home runs this year, but no one has mentioned the fact that he hasn't stolen a base yet. He hit 18 home runs and had 19 steals in 385 minor league at-bats last year. In other words, he's about to be even better that he already is because he has legit speed.

… That San Francisco Giant John Bowker now has a home run and at least three RBIs in each of his first two games. He hit .307 with 22 home runs in Double-A last year.

… That Skip Schumaker of the Cardinals is hitting .385 with eight runs and a steal in his past seven games.

… That not only did I leave Francisco Liriano on my bench yesterday in leagues in which I own him, I also don't think he's great until after the All-Star break. He has to learn how to pitch again.

… That Marcus Thames played first base for the Tigers yesterday with Carlos Guillen on the shelf for a little while. He's a career .240 hitter, so know what you're getting into there, but in the past two years, he has 44 home runs and 114 RBIs in 674 at-bats.

Always looking for that extra piece of fantasy insight? We've got you covered. ESPN Fantasy experts Matthew Berry and Nate Ravitz provide you with all the fantasy strategy you'll need: Listen to the Fantasy Focus Podcast

… That John Lackey threw 47 pitches off a mound this weekend and was fine.

… That if you haven't listened to the Fantasy Focus podcast, you really should. It's the best thing I do.

… Unless you're not a fan. Then the podcast will drive you nuts.

Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is ESPN's senior director of fantasy. He was just as surprised as you to find out it's a real job. He is a multiple award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, including a Writer of the Year award. He has been playing fantasy sports for more than 20 years, writing about it professionally for more than 10. He currently appears on or in ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNEWS, ESPN the Magazine, ESPN.com, ESPN Mobile TV and, as soon as he learns to say "ground-ball/fly-ball ratio" in Spanish, ESPN Deportes.

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