The Talented Mr. Roto: Re-evaluating things
It was like I had heard it for the first time.
The song has been around since 1984, and so have I, so I've heard "The Warrior" by Scandal, featuring Patty Smyth, for almost a quarter of a century now. But for whatever reason, hearing it in the car the other day, I heard something I had never really paid attention to before.
The chorus goes like this:
"Shootin' at the walls of heartache, bang, bang, I am the warrior "
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And a gun doesn't really go "bang, bang," you know? This isn't a cartoon or the old "Batman" TV show. Who does that? It's insane. Can you imagine writing that? You're sitting there, with the lyrics, and you've got, "Shooting at the walls of heartache, I am the warrior." And you look at it and say, "You know what it needs? A 'bang, bang.'"
What? No, seriously. What?!
What if you used sound effects in your everyday life?
"Can't make the game, Bob. I'm painting the garage this weekend. Splat, splat. I am the painter." What if athletes did it? "Well, I just got a pitch up in the zone that I could drive. Boom, boom. I am the slugger."
I still enjoy the song, but even though it's almost 25 years old, I've just now re-evaluated it. No longer a great anthem for the battle of the sexes, it is a cheesy pop song that, officially, contains the dumbest attempt at lyrics in the history of cheesy pop songs. "Bang, bang."
Which brings me to my point. Which is what I meant to do all along, I swear. No matter how much time has passed, it's never too late to re-evaluate something. And as we reach the official halfway point of the fantasy baseball season, it's time to adjust our thinking on some players and some commonly held beliefs.
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Quickly, here are some guys who recently have seen an increase in value and might be available in your league (with ownership percentages in parentheses).
Jeff Keppinger, SS, Reds (19 percent): Very quietly, he was activated from the DL this week and is hitting .311 this year. Seriously, it didn't make a sound. Hush, hush. They are the Reds. Still, a little pop and a little speed with a high average. I really like Keppinger.
Christopher Davis, 1B, Rangers (0 percent): Was hitting .333 with 23 home runs and 77 RBIs at two levels of the minors this year. He'll play first until (if?) Hank Blalock comes back. Davis can rake.
Max Ramirez, C, Rangers (1 percent): Davis' minor league teammate will split some time at first and catcher while Gerald Laird is on the DL. He was hitting .363 with 17 home runs and 50 RBIs at Double-A when he was recalled.
Adam Lind, OF, Blue Jays (1 percent): Two home runs in his past three games. He's always hit in the minors, and now he gets another chance to do it in the majors, and for a new manager.
Others Receiving Votes: I've mentioned them in previous columns and podcasts, so trust me, I've done the analysis. In case you missed it, though, some guys who might still be available and you should check out include pitchers Seth McClung, Nick Blackburn, Scott Baker, Matt Garza and, of course, my beloved Way Rod (his mother calls him Wandy Rodriguez). For the hitters, check out Ramon Vazquez, Joe Inglett, Eric Patterson and Brian Buscher.
That's all I got this week. Have a great, festive weekend. Glug, glug. I am out of here.
Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is ESPN's senior director of fantasy. He was just as surprised as you to find out it's a real job. He is a multiple award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers Association, including a Writer of the Year. He also is the creator of RotoPass.com, a Web site that combines a bunch of well-known fantasy sites, including ESPN Insider, for one low price. Use promo code ESPN for 10 percent off.
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