Ten lists of 10
Everyone from Miguel Montero and Matt Holliday to first pitches and airplane etiquette
Ten lists of 10
List No. 1: In honor of Adam LaRoche, Chris Duncan and Julio Lugo switching teams, here are 10 trades I would make in fantasy right now. In each case, the player for whom I'd trade ranks lower on our Player Rater.
2. I would trade Brian Roberts for Alexei Ramirez.
3. I would trade Jason Bartlett (third on the Player Rater among shortstops) for Jimmy Rollins (14th).
4. I would trade Michael Young for Casey Blake.
5. I would trade Jason Bay for Matt Holliday.
6. I would trade Shane Victorino for Nyjer Morgan.
7. I would trade Hunter Pence for Juan Rivera.
8. I would trade Dan Haren for Roy Halladay. Or Chris Carpenter.
9. I would trade Jered Weaver for J.A. Happ.
10. I would trade Bobby Jenks for J.P. Howell.
List No. 2: Ten position players owned in less than 40 percent of ESPN.com standard leagues who should be owned in all of them (ownership percentages in parentheses)
1. Franklin Gutierrez, OF, Mariners (28 percent)
2. Erick Aybar, SS, Angels (8 percent)
3. Garrett Jones, OF, Pirates (16 percent)
4. Gordon Beckham, 3B, White Sox (18 percent)
5. Martin Prado, 1B, 2B, 3B, Braves (15 percent)
6. Andrew McCutchen, OF, Pirates (35 percent)
7. Scott Podsednik, OF, White Sox (19 percent)
8. Dexter Fowler, OF, Rockies (17 percent)
9. Denard Span, OF, Twins (40 percent)
10. Josh Willingham, OF, Nationals (8 percent)
List No. 3: Ten position players owned in more than 50 percent of leagues who can be dumped safely in nonkeeper standard 10-team leagues
1. Alex Gordon, 3B, Royals (55 percent)
2. Jay Bruce, OF, Reds (82 percent)
3. Milton Bradley, OF, Cubs (58 percent)
4. Matt Wieters, C, Orioles (77 percent)
5. Chris Davis, 1B, Rangers (68 percent)
6. Chris Iannetta, C, Rockies (65 percent)
7. Garrett Atkins, 3B, Rockies (62 percent)
8. Magglio Ordonez, OF, Tigers (84 percent)
9. Kosuke Fukudome, OF, Cubs (46 percent, so I'm cheating a little)
10. Howie Kendrick, 2B, Angels (66 percent)
List No. 4: Ten nutty things that have happened to me since the baseball season started
2. When I got there, they also had another guy throw it out, someone who advertises with the team.
3. My pitch caused Josh Outman to be injured for the season. At least that's what he said on our July 17 Fantasy Focus podcast.
4. I was at a party with the Iron Sheik.
5. I heard about a guy who walked across the stage at graduation (at Stanford, no less!) with a picture of me on his cap.
6. I shared a cab with Kevin Youkilis, and we discussed Jewish baseball players. He's a very nice guy.
7. They are making a Broadway musical in which I am the inspiration for one of the lead characters.
8. I am writing this column in a Los Angeles hotel room, which I will leave in a few hours to act with a guy dressed as a caveman.
9. It won't be the first time.
10. Josh Beckett recognized me at a party and asked me for fantasy football advice for the 2009 season.
List No. 5: Ten interesting stats I learned from the crack ESPN Stats & Information team
1. Since making his debut with the Pirates on July 1, Garrett Jones leads the majors with nine home runs. He has hit two more during that time than the runners-up in that category, Alex Rodriguez and Derrek Lee.
2. Catcher Miguel Montero has hit .408 with six home runs and 15 RBIs in his past 18 games.
3. No National League pitcher has had more starts this season during which he has allowed two earned runs or fewer than Jair Jurrjens. He has had 16. Dan Haren also has had 16, but nobody has had more than that.
4. A.J. Burnett has posted a 1.93 ERA in his past seven starts. I might have been wrong about him.
5. Joe Mauer has hit just .129 in his past eight games.
6. Just in time for the trade deadline, Matt Holliday has hit .395 in his past nine games.
7. Among active players, Adam LaRoche has the 14th-best career slugging percentage after the All-Star break, better than that of even Lance Berkman and Miguel Cabrera.
8. Bobby Abreu leads the AL in batting average with runners in scoring position (.404).
9. Orlando Cabrera is hitting .387 in July.
10. The Braves have averaged two runs more per game since Martin Prado joined the starting lineup than they did before it.
List No. 6: Ten things I noticed while going through the box scores from Wednesday
1. Another start at first base for Mark Teahen. That's bad news for Mike Jacobs.
2. Garrett Jones got the start at first base the day Adam LaRoche was dealt. That likely would mean more playing time for Delwyn Young and Brandon Moss, and maybe we could see Lastings Milledge soon.
3. He walked more batters than he struck out, but Armando Galarraga posted a decent start. He has given up only one earned run in three of his past four starts.
4. Casey McGehee (not Felipe Lopez) played second base and was hitting right behind Prince Fielder, and he had a pretty good game.
5. Alfonso Soriano hit sixth again and went 2-for-5 with a run and an RBI. He is batting .368 from the 6-hole this season.
6. Heath Bell gave up two earned runs in a nonsave situation. That stuff drives me nuts.
7. Matt Thornton got the two-inning save for the White Sox. I discussed Bobby Jenks' struggles on the podcast Wednesday and in Tristan Cockcroft's Called Out" column. I was lowest on Jenks, whose ERA in six July games is 9.00.
8. Nyjer Morgan was caught stealing, which is fine. He is running every game. Love him.
9. Good day for the aforementioned Montero; bad day for the aforementioned Mauer.
10. Manny Ramirez hit a pinch-hit grand slam on his bobblehead night. I know he has a sore hand, but seriously, it's his bobblehead night. You couldn't start him on his bobblehead night?
List No. 7: Ten things about flying that drive me crazy
1. People who grab the back of your seat when they try to get up.
2. People who knee you in the back of the seat several times during the course of a trip. Yes, you're cramped. We're all cramped. Be polite.
3. Being charged for snacks.
4. The weird snacks. How about some plain pretzels? Or basic chips? I realize you probably are getting money from a company trying to promote its new product, but I don't care for sour cream and raisin bagel chips, OK?
5. Bad movies. I didn't watch "17 Again" when it first came out for a reason, you know?
6. The guy next to me howling in laughter at "17 Again." Yes, the character got hit in the private area. I get it. Hi-lar-i-ous.
7. People who make small talk with me. If my head is in a book, there's a reason.
8. People who put their luggage sideways in the overhead compartment. We all have stuff we need to store, OK? Stop trying to get cute.
9. Pilots who talk a lot. If I am actually watching a movie or TV show, I want to watch it. Not listen to the pilot interrupt to tell me what the wind is like or the altitude we are cruising at, what is down below, wacky inside jokes about the crew or just long, drawn-out nonsense. Be quiet. Fly the plane. That's all I ask.
9a (addendum). There is a special place in hell for those who refer to Las Vegas as "Lost Wages." As in "Welcome to Lost Wages, ha-ha!" Come on. Really?
10. Flight attendants who wake you up to see whether your seat belt is fastened, only to discover that yes, in fact, it is.
List No. 8: Ten pitchers who have been lights-out recently (ownership percentages in parentheses)
2. Jarrod Washburn (47 percent) has given up two earned runs or fewer in five of his past six starts.
3. Joel Pineiro (15 percent) has a 3.09 ERA and a 1.09 WHIP this season!
4. Brett Anderson (6 percent) has a 1.15 ERA in his past five starts.
5. Jorge De La Rosa (6 percent) is 4-0 with a 2.54 ERA and 23 strikeouts in 28 innings in his past five starts.
6. Joe Blanton (10 percent) is 4-1 with a 2.32 ERA and 59 strikeouts in 66 innings in his past 10 starts.
7. Chad Gaudin (4 percent) has given up three earned runs or fewer in six of his past seven starts.
8. Jeff Niemann (6 percent) has nine wins, and his ERA is 3.61.
9. Tommy Hunter (1 percent) has a 2.17 ERA in his first five starts. I hate his strikeout-to-walk ratio (15/10), but still, it's worth noting.
10. Scott Feldman (5 percent) has eight wins and a 3.87 ERA.
List No. 9: Ten guys who, if we were doing the second-half rankings today, I would rank higher
1. Alex Rodriguez
2. Dan Haren (but to an extent, as I noted in List No. 1)
3. Jermaine Dye
4. Chone Figgins
5. Josh Johnson
6. Johnny Damon
7. Adam Jones
8. Hunter Pence
9. A.J. Burnett
10. Nyjer Morgan
List No. 10: Ten non-ESPN folks I follow on Twitter
Matthew Berry -- The Talented Mr. Roto -- is a five-time award winner from the Fantasy Sports Writers' Association, including a Writer of the Year award. He is also the creator of RotoPass.com, a Web site that combines a bunch of well-known fantasy sites, including ESPN Insider, for one low price. Use promo code ESPN for 10 percent off. Cyberstalk the TMR | Be his Cyberfriend