Like every season before it, the impending 2006 campaign will be a bustling outfield party pool of matchups and milestones, events and anniversaries. The key difference: We're going to tell you what happens, from every Bonds bash to Ozzie outtake, in advance.
With all the tools of this trade -- Magic 8 Ball, Ouija board and a strict editor's deadline -- we now peer into the foggy future that will be the 2006 baseball season. After looking at April, just click on the other months listed above:
Twenty-six other teams open their seasons. Why Minnesota and Toronto have to wait until the following day remains unclear. (Retribution for artificial turf?) While President Bush throws out the first pitch in Cincinnati, Vice President Cheney does the same in Oakland -- hitting Jorge Posada in the face.
Head for the mountains
The Cardinals move into their new stadium, cleverly titled Busch Stadium (it's actually the third ballpark known as such, as ever-humble Gussie Busch renamed Sportsman's Park after himself in 1953), hosting the Milwaukee Brewers.
Barry and The Babe
Coming off a stellar three-game series at Coors Field, Bonds enters a three-game set with the Mets tied with Babe Ruth at 714 home runs. After hitting a 487-foot shot off Victor Zambrano in the first inning of the series' second game to move past Ruth, Bonds responds to incessant steroid questions, "This has really injected a bitter pill into my bloodstream."