ESPN Men's Basketball

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. -- There is no blueprint for how to grieve, how to follow your best friend in the same job or how to honor the dead without it being too consuming.

So, you try to find the right balance without obstructing the task you're hired to do: continue to mold the basketball program at Wake Forest and win games.

Dino Gaudio is doing his best. And, so too, are assistants Jeff Battle, Pat Kelsey and Mike Muse. They were all extremely close to Skip Prosser, who suddenly died of a cardiac arrest at age 56 on July 26.

"There are times when you think about when you reach out to the person that is close to you to get advice from and talk to, and it's those times that are hard," said Gaudio, barely holding back his emotions.

The grieving is still very raw here. You can feel how tangible, how fresh the emotion still permeates the gym, the offices and the locker room.

"Every day at practice you walk in and expecting to see coach and give him the little fist pump that he always gives, but you know he is not there," Wake Forest junior Cameron Stanley said. "Nobody is forgetting, but we are just trying to stay focused on the season."

It may be hardest on Gaudio, one of Prosser's closest friends and the man given the reins to Prosser's old job. They worked side-by-side at various stops from high school to college over the past 27 years.

Stanley said Gaudio and Prosser were together longer than most marriages and would finish each other's sentences. Junior guard Harvey Hale said the two coaches were inseparable, and that Gaudio looked up to Prosser like a father.

"When you are so close to someone and you can tell them exactly how you feel and they will do the same for you,'' Gaudio said. "It is unique and we had that, we had that relationship."

Gaudio had plenty of decisions to make for this season. There were some that needed little thought. No one needed to be told to hang Prosser's photo anywhere in the office. They all put up any photos or magazine covers and even Prosser bobblehead dolls in their offices. A stack of prayer cards with Prosser's picture on them are in the basketball office. The cards were distributed at Prosser's funeral, they have a traditional Gaelic blessing on the back.

When new sports information director Steve Shutt, whose first day on the job was the day Prosser died, asked Gaudio how many pages he wanted to devote to Prosser in the media guide, Gaudio said as many as they needed. The first six are a tribute to the man so many loved here.

The fall sports teams had already decided to wear a memorial ribbon on their uniforms with the word "Skip" on it. But basketball wanted to differentiate itself, so the team decided on a patch that says "Coach" within a ribbon.

"We have to make this a celebration of his life, that every time Skip's name is mentioned it's difficult, but we can't look back on just that tragic time," Gaudio said. "We have to look back on the good times. And I told those kids if we do that, that's what he would want and that is the best thing for this basketball team."

And, of course, Gaudio wanted to remind his players about Skip's words of wisdom that he was so often passing down to them. Gaudio decided that the best way to make sure they never missed some of his most memorable phrases was to have them painted on the walls of two flights of stairs from the locker room to Budd Gymnasium in the Miller Center, where the team practices.

Prosser's favorite saying, "Our chief want in life is someone that will make us do what we can" by Ralph Waldo Emerson, is stenciled on the wall outside the locker room. There are two Skipisms up the stairs to the court. "Are you a 3 to 6 player?" the wall asks on one flight of stairs. "Or are you a 6 to 3 player?" it asks on the next flight of stairs.

And finally, on the door to the practice floor, there's one final reminder of Skip, who used this phrase with his players after especially tough losses: "This is the best place you will ever be, the gym".

Prosser is never far from the players' thoughts.

"I can hear coach's voice you know saying 'C'mon on. Get to the glass Cam.' Or just everything, everything that coach emphasized with me just personally with me crashing the boards," Stanley said. "He always wanted me to go to the offensive boards and box out and whenever I am not doing that I can hear his voice in my head, you know, 'C'mon Just go to the glass hard.'"

The events surrounding Prosser's death are still a blur for those closest to him.

As usual, Gaudio and Prosser were together on the road recruiting, this time on July 25 in Orlando, watching an AAU tournament. They ended the night going out to dinner with Skip's son Mark, an assistant at Bucknell and Bison head coach Pat Flannery. The next day, after catching an early-morning flight, Prosser died of sudden cardiac arrest after taking a jog on the track adjacent to the practice facility and then collapsing in his office.

The players were quickly corralled from their classes to the basketball offices. Although they had already heard some rumors that Prosser had collapsed, the players weren't quite sure how serious it was until assistant coach Battle walked into the office.

"Coach Battle opens the door and falls to his knees and starts crying," Hale said. "That's what really did it for me and that's what did it for everyone else. I knew something was really going down when that happened."

In the days following Prosser's death, the practice court served as the players' sanctuary.

"This is where everybody came," Stanley said. "Chris Paul, when Chris was here [with] a lot of the other coach's former players, we came here. We worked out. We had open gym, you know, just to get our minds off of what was going on and to also do what we felt coach would want us to do if he was still here."

Prosser was laid to rest on July 31 in an emotional ceremony with all 11 ACC coaches, coaching brethren from around the country and current and former players in attendance. Eight days later, Wake Forest athletic director Ron Wellman promoted Gaudio to replace Prosser.

Gaudio sought the blessing of Prosser's mother -- who is affectionately called Grandma Jo -- before accepting the job. But in the end, the players and the staff said they couldn't see anyone else but Gaudio, who was so close to Prosser, taking over for him.

"If it wasn't for Skip, I'd be probably driving a yellow bus on Route 2 in West Virginia right now," Gaudio said.

It took a few weeks for Gaudio to move into Prosser's office. Unbeknownst to Gaudio, a few days after the funeral, Nancy Prosser came at night and took some of her husband's personal belongings.

Today, Gaudio's office is sparse. But Prosser is all over the offices, with at least one photo of Prosser in coaches' work space.

"I don't know how many times, because my office was the first one in, I have walked in that door to come in that coaching lounge area, the office area and taken a right where my office was for six years," Gaudio said. "And then it dawns on me that I am down the hall. For months I called it Skip's office, which it is."

Gaudio said the Demon Deacons, a squad that has no seniors and may not start an upperclassman, could have gone in two directions. They could have splintered or bonded. It's clear they chose the latter.

"I told those kids out of this tragedy, we have to make this the greatest success story in college basketball this year," Gaudio said. "As I am walking out the door for my first practice [on Oct. 12], my wife Maureen says, 'Everybody wants us to have a happy ending. Everybody. From the people at Wake, the people at Winston-Salem and around the country.' And I am walking out the door and she looks at me she sticks her finger at my chest and says, 'You are the guy that has to make that happen.' I said, 'Thanks Maureen for not putting too much pressure on me.'"

When Prosser went to Kuwait in May with other coaches for Operation Hardwood, he was moved by the "One team, one fight" slogan used by the U.S. military personnel there. He had rubber bracelets made with this slogan for the Demon Deacons. He relayed his thoughts about the soldiers in Kuwait to his team, which was coming off a 15-16 season. He wanted the Demon Deacons to adopt this slogan. They did.

And now, the Demon Deacons end every practice by gathering together and saying, "One team, one fight."

Barely three and a half months after Prosser's death, Gaudio can still barely talk about his friend without getting emotional. And as he sat down in the practice gym for a lengthy interview, he fought to stay composed.

But, when asked for one lasting image that makes him think most about Prosser, about his best friend, his mentor and his trusted confidant, Gaudio couldn't contain his emotions anymore.

"I just think it is being in the gym, that's the thing you miss most," Gaudio said.

And with that, Gaudio, couldn't stop the tears that have been three and a half months in the making. He tried to hold it together. His eyes welled with tears, but he couldn't stop them any longer.

Losing Prosser is still too painful, too fresh, too raw for Gaudio, the players and this program.

Andy Katz is a senior writer at ESPN.com.