Commentary

The Bottom 10 ain't talkin' 'bout love

Originally Published: September 25, 2007
By David Duffey | ESPN.com

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Final

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

I took a mobile light, lookin' for a moonbeam. Ow!
Yeah, ya stand in line ya got lost in a jet stream
Ooh, everybody wants some!
I want some too (Oh yeah)
Everybody wants some!
How about you?


-- Van Halen, "Everybody Wants Some"

The Bottom 10 definitely wants some -- and the Bottom 10 usually gets what it wants. The run of very deserving teams in the highly coveted No. 5 spot continues. Louisville was expected to compete for a BCS bowl, but the Cardinals find themselves in a very different place.

That's bad news for the Ville, but it makes us want to jump. Lucky for the Bottom 10 that Van Halen's first tour with David Lee Roth in 22 years kicks off Thursday in Charlotte, N.C. So the good news is that tunes from David, Eddie, Alex and Wolfgang will serve as our guide.

Louisville's liabilities -- especially on defense -- provided some good news for Mike Gundy. If not for Louisville's collapse against previously winless Syracuse, the Bottom 10 iPod would be playing "And The Cradle Will Rock" in honor of the Oklahoma State coach's postgame rant after the Cowboys beat Texas Tech.

After a week at No. 1, Notre Dame slipped down two places. The Irish deserved that much after scoring their first two offensive touchdowns of the season in a 31-14 home loss to Michigan State. Florida International earned the jump to No. 1 with a 55-3 loss to Kansas.

Syracuse, UCLA, Northern Illinois and San Diego State can dance the night away after winning to gain an automatic exit from the rankings.

There were some other changes, so we'll turn to some Van Halen songs to lead us through the latest edition of the Bottom 10. But don't forget to catch the pillow fight of the week: Florida International at Middle Tennessee.

Have a comment about the Bottom 10 ranking? Send us your thoughts.

So, with apologies to Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10:

ESPN.com's Bottom 10
  RANK TEAM RECORD COMMENT
1. FIU 0-4 "Right Now": The Panthers' 16-game losing streak is the nation's longest. Right now, they have to be No. 1 in the Bottom 10.
2. Temple 0-4 "Hot For Teacher": They certainly aren't hot for the Owls in Philly. Maybe the Temple faculty can get the Owls worked up?
3. Notre Dame 0-4 "Where Have All The Good Times Gone": The Irish are 0-4 for the first time in their storied history. And 0-8 looks probable. Could 0-12 be possible?
4. Rice 0-4 "Poundcake": The Owls' last three losses have been by 44, 35 and 25. They opened the season with a two-point loss to I-AA Nicholls State.
5. Louisville
2-2 "Somebody Get Me A Doctor": Actually, the Cards might be asking somebody to get them a defensive coordinator. After losing to previously winless Syracuse, the Cards rank No. 104 in pass defense.
6. Marshall 0-4 "Jump": The Bottom 10 might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump onto the Thundering Herd's bandwagon.
7. Louisiana-Lafayette 0-4 "Why Can't This Be Love": Well, because a bye week for Louisiana-Monroe prevented us from combining the Ragin' Cajuns with the Warhawks to form U L-U Pick 'em.
8. Utah State 0-4 "Push Comes To Shove": When the Aggies faced winless San Jose State in a Saturday pillow fight, something had to give. It was the Aggies.
9. North Texas 0-3 "House Of Pain": The Mean Green are last in the nation in scoring defense, so they are feeling the pain at home and on the road.
10. Central Michigan 1-3 "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love": That is especially true in Mount Pleasant after the Chippewas suffered a stunning 44-14 loss to I-AA North Dakota State.

Waiting list: Bottle throwing at Alabama, Colorado State (0-3), Louisiana-Monroe (0-3), Middle Tennessee (0-4) and Texas A&M's play calling.

David Duffey is the college football editor at ESPN.com.