Commentary

Nobody does it better than the Huskies and Cougars

Originally Published: November 18, 2008
By David Duffey | ESPN.com

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Bye | 12 | 13

The Bottom 10 inspirational thoughts of the week:

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best

-- "Nobody Does It Better," Carly Simon

James Bond is back in "Quantum of Solace." The Bottom 10 is back off its bye week. Washington and Washington State are back for more. The quantity of comfort in that three-pack of statements is enough to make the Bottom 10 break into song. So, it's only fitting that this week's Bottom 10 sound track will feature songs from the Bond series.

Although our Bottom 10 band has more in common with famed double-naught spy Jethro Bodine than 007, "nobody does it better" than Bond or our band. It's just that the Bottom 10 prefers "a view to a kill." And no two teams have found "another way to die" quite like the Huskies and Cougars this season.

"The world is not enough" of a stage for the epic Crapple Cup encounter on Saturday. No. 1 Washington at No. 2 Washington State might be enough to scare "the living daylights" out of any Bond villain, but it's a "thunderball" of comfort in the Bottom 10. Their pillow fight of the week (year, decade, millennium …) will be a definite Bottom 10 box-office smash.

"You only live twice" in the highly coveted No. 5 spot -- at least that has to be Michigan's hope. The 3-8 Wolverines are back at No. 5 for the second time this season after their loss to Northwestern. Their eight losses set a single-season record at Michigan. With a trip to Ohio State next, the Wolverines just might "die another day" in the No. 5 spot.

Get shaken, not stirred with signature songs from the Bond series in the Week 12 edition of the Bottom 10.

Have a comment about the Bottom 10 ranking? Send us your thoughts.

So, with apologies to Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10:

ESPN.com's Bottom 10
  RANK TEAM RECORD COMMENT
1. Washington 0-10 "Nobody Does It Better": "Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby, you're the best." Who can argue against the only winless FBS team?
2. Washington State 1-10 "The World Is Not Enough": "The world is not enough. But it is such a perfect place to start, my love." The Bottom 10 will love the Cougars even more if they lose to the Huskies.
3. San Diego State 1-10 "Another Way To Die": "Another tricky little gun giving solace to the one that will never see the sunshine." Actually, a little sunshine is about the only solace the Aztecs get.
4. SMU 1-10 "The Living Daylights": "Comes the morning and the headlights fade in rain. Hundred thousand changes ... everything's the same." A-ha! Changing coaches doesn't ensure a quick fix.
5. Michigan 3-8 "A View To A Kill": "Dance into the fire, to fatal sounds of broken dreams." The Wolverines' worst season ever still has Ohio State looming. Duran Duran should have included "no mas, no mas" in the lyrics.
6. North Texas 1-9 "Die Another Day": "I'm gonna break the cycle. I'm gonna shake up the system." The Mean Green did shake things up by getting their one win, but they're still in the Bottom 10 cycle.
7. Western Kentucky 2-9 "You Only Live Twice": "This dream is for you, so pay the price. Make one dream come true, you only live twice." If the Hilltoppers don't beat FIU on Dec. 6, they'll only win twice.
8. Tulane 2-8 "For Your Eyes Only": "For your eyes only, can see me through the night. For your eyes only, I never need to hide." Well, the Green Wave can't hide from the Bottom 10 after losing to UAB.
9. Idaho 2-9 "Thunderball": "His fight goes on and on and on. But he thinks that the fight is worth it all. So he strikes like Thunderball." Unless the Vandals strike like a thunderball at Hawaii on Saturday, their Bottom 10 fight will go on and on.
10. Syracuse 2-8 "Live And Let Die": "But if this ever-changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry, Say live and let die!" The Orange gave in after years of crying and let Greg Robinson go on Sunday. Will a new coach give them new life in '09?

Waiting list: Eastern Michigan (2-8), Iowa State (2-9), Miami (Ohio) (2-8), Ohio (2-8), Toledo (2-8), Utah State (2-9).

David Duffey is the college football editor at ESPN.com.