Welcome To Zombie Nation
The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:
Call me the American nightmare
Call me the American dream
Call me your soul corrupted
Call me everything you need
-- "The Great American Nightmare," Rob Zombie
"Zombieland" hits theaters Friday, but you don't have to wait until Woody Harrelson's flick opens to catch a glimpse at zombies this season. The Bottom 10 teams' performances have resembled the so-called walking dead. Thankfully, our zombie zoo is a harmless bunch. They are content in their lifeless stumble through the season and are dangerous only to fans of their own teams.
But danger lurked everywhere for teams in the top 10. Four of them lost -- and looked bad in the process. Cal and Miami were trounced on the road. Ole Miss failed to live up to the hype. Penn State was beaten up at home by Iowa. So welcome Ole Cal State U to the highly coveted No. 5 spot. While we don't expect this pairing to have the staying power of F_U, UL-U-Pick 'em or Directional Michigan, the Bottom 10 is glad OCSU could join us this week.
While No. 1 Western Kentucky held onto its spot, New Mexico lost its "Land of Disenchantment" Pillow Fight of the Week to move to No. 2. Miami (Ohio) and Rice round out the Bottom 5. As for the rest of the ranking, all 10 winless teams are represented.
"Revenge of the Zombies": Temple took down Buffalo to earn its way off the Bottom 10.
"Living A Zombie Dream" (aka Pillow Fight of the Week): Memphis at UCF.
So, with apologies to Steve Harvey and with the help of zombie films, here's the latest Bottom 10:
ESPN.com's Bottom 10
|1.||Western Kentucky||0-4||"King of the Zombies": The Hilltoppers have lost 12 straight, rank No. 119 in total defense and No. 117 in scoring defense.|
|2.||New Mexico||0-4||"Kung Fu Zombie": Sure, the Lobos lost last week's pillow fight and they are No. 119 in scoring offense, but putting them at No. 1 would be risky with coach Mike Locksley around.|
|3.||Miami (Ohio)||0-4||"I, Zombie: Chronicles of Pain": The RedHawks' losing streak has reached nine, which is the second-longest in the nation.|
|4.||Rice||0-4||"Goremet, Zombie Chef from Hell": Rice certainly isn't cooking on offense. The Owls are No. 120 in scoring this season.|
|5.||Ole Cal State U||0-4||"Space Zombie Bingo!!!": G(amecocks)-16, O(regon)-42, I(owa)-21, B(lacksburg)-31 delivered the winning Bottom 10 Bingo of Ole Miss, Cal, Penn State and Miami.|
|6.||Ball State||0-4||"28 Days Later": The Cardinals still are chasing their first win 28 days after their season-opening loss to North Texas.|
|7.||F_U||0-6||"Dead Dudes In The House": FAU and FIU are still winless and still together in the Bottom 10. The Owls and Panthers should feel right at home.|
|8.||Eastern Michigan||0-3||"Chopper Chicks in Zombietown": The Eagles didn't lose during their bye week. Maybe they caught this classic 1991 zombie film? Probably easier to watch than their game film.|
|9.||Virginia||0-3||"Dawn of the Dead": Hope the Cavaliers enjoyed their bye week. If their zombie-like march continues, expect the dawn of a new coaching era in Charlottesville.|
|10.||Nevada||0-3||"Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island": The Wolf Pack probably don't belong here any more than Scooby did on that island, but they are winless. Rules are rules.|
Waiting list: Akron (1-3), Danny Hope's timeout, Bowling Green (1-3), Maryland (1-3), Mike Leach's goal-line decision, North Texas (1-3), UAB (1-3), UTEP (1-3).
David Duffey is the college football editor at ESPN.com.
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