Commentary

Lollapaloozers rock the preseason Bottom 10

Originally Published: August 5, 2008
By David Duffey | ESPN.com

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Bye | 12 | 13

The Bottom 10 inspirational thoughts of the week:

Get yourself together
Let the light pour in
Pour yourself a hot bath, pour yourself a drink
Nothing's gonna happen without a warning
Down is the new up
What is up, buttercup
Down is the new up, is the new up

Your services are not required
Your future's bleak, you're so last week

-- "Down Is The New Up," Radiohead

Lollapalooza, the largest alternative music festival, sold out three straight days last weekend. Kanye West, Nine Inch Nails, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine and Wilco delighted audiences in Chicago's Grant Park.

Things are different over in the Bottom 10 mosh pit, where the audience delights in pushing our alternative bands around.

Welcome to Lollapaloozers, ESPN.com's fall festival celebrating alternative college football, where the hits keep coming. Appearing on the main stage are Bottom 10 regulars Idaho, Florida International and Utah State. Crowd favorite UL-U-Pick 'em is back together and ready for its special appearance.

Former headliners Duke, North Texas and SMU can be found outside the fence in the waiting area. However, the Blue Devils, Mean Green and Ponies shouldn't be concerned about the extra security around this edition of the Bottom 10. The precautionary move was not made with them in mind.

An offseason marred by multiple off-the-field incidents at programs across the country created the safety concerns -- and a fierce competition for the highly coveted No. 5 spot. Alabama, Iowa, Penn State and Virginia were considered, but the honor went to the team also occupying the No. 1 spot in ESPN.com's preseason power rankings. With five players suspended for the opener, Georgia's a perfect match for the Bottom 10's No. 5 spot. Hunker down you hairy Dawgs or you could spend more time locked up in the Bottom 10's pound.

We'll let the artists from Lollapalooza guide us through the preseason Bottom 10 for 2008.

Have a comment about the Bottom 10 ranking? Send us your thoughts.

So, with apologies to Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10:

ESPN.com's Bottom 10
  RANK TEAM '07 RECORD COMMENT
1. Idaho 1-11 We Go To 11: The Vandals turned it up all the way to 11 losses in 2007. Will the dial go to 12 this season?
2. FIU 1-11 Rogue Wave: The Bottom 10 doesn't want the Panthers to get washed away. We've been riding their wave for way too long to stop now.
3. Utah State 2-10 Nine Inch Nails: Like the sound of 9-inch nails against a chalkboard? If so, you'll love the Aggies.
4. UAB 2-10 Gnarls Barkley: The Blazers' two-win season probably had Alabama native Charles Barkley growling, too.
5. Georgia
11-2 Does It Offend You, Yeah?: Georgia's talent puts it No. 1 in the power rankings. The antics of the Bulldogs have them at No. 5 in the Bottom 10.
6. NIU 2-10 Dr. Dog: Will the hiring of Jerry Kill prove to be the correct prescription for what ails the Huskies' program?
7. UL-U-Pick 'em 9-15 Rage Against The Machine: Louisiana-Monroe opens on the road at Auburn. Louisiana-Lafayette travels to Illinois during Week 3.
8. Minnesota 1-11 The Terrible Twos: Tim Brewster's first year with the Golden Gophers featured 11 losses and no wins against Big Ten competition. Ready for Year 2?
9. Syracuse 2-10 Wild Sweet Orange: Syracuse hasn't been sweet on the field in a long time. If that doesn't change, Greg Robinson's wild ride will be ending soon.
10. UNLV 2-10 Kanye West: Can ya do almost anything in Vegas? Yup. Except count on many wins from the Rebels.

Waiting list: Akron (4-8), Baylor (3-9), Colorado State (3-9), Duke (1-11), Kent State (3-9), Marshall (3-9), North Texas (2-10), Ole Miss (3-9), Rice (3-9) and SMU (1-11).

David Duffey is the college football editor at ESPN.com.