Goalies: '80s one-hit wonders?
Thoughts while riding the Zamboni to work, with Ryan Malone, Podes and five rookies on board.
Since no sports radio talk shows in the United States touch on hockey, and when they do it's rather ignorant, my daily half-hour drive to work is spent listening to music and conducting sports radio hockey talk in my mind. Maybe ESPN.com can set up a wireless microphone and I can conduct a daily hockey show online for all the deprived hockey fans. Until that glorious day arrives, I'll play radio talk show host and empty out my brain from all the solitary car rides from South Windsor to Bristol, Conn.
|SHOT OF THE WEEK|
Every week we will present an NHL photo and I'll provide a caption. E-mail me your suggestions (include your name and hometown/state) and next week we will use best ones and provide a new photo.
Hall of Famer and Montreal Canadiens alumnus Guy Lafleur:
"This reminds me of my days ... wait a minute ... I've NEVER done this before."
"Hey, Guy! I'm pretty sure that curve on your stick is illegal."
-- Mark McLaughlin, Denver
"I'm Guy FREAKING Lafleur! Can't you get Richer to do this?"
-- Bruce M., Stanton, Calif.
"If we had a stronger NHLPA back in my day, I could be warming my buns now instead of shoveling snow."
-- Pete Moore, Denver
"Kerry Fraser needs to consider a different dandruff shampoo!"
-- Jeffrey Yot, Pittsburgh
"Where the hell is Robinson? Maybe 'Big Bird' should pick up his 'Big Shovel' and give me a hand here!"
-- Turner Watson, Georgia
"At least this beats what I had to shovel when I was a Ranger."
-- Joe Stack, Dublin, Ohio
"In 2035, the Islanders Ice Girls start to get a little ripe"
-- Dan Hausmann, State College, Pa.
Atlanta's Ronald Petrovicky to Tampa Bay's Ben Clymer:
"I swear I don't know how Majesky's mouthpiece got in my ear, Ben, JUST GET IT OUT!."
Malone: The first thing I do is head over to Olive Garden with a couple of the guys. I get the Chicken Alfredo with penne. Then I come back home to my one-bedroom apartment in downtown Pittsburgh and take a nap for about 90 minutes. After I'm done talking to you, I'm going to eat my rice here, jump in the shower, put on a good suit and head to the rink in a Ford Harley Davidson Truck.
The first F-150 Harley-Davidson pickup was the 2000-model extended cab. Ford built 8,200 and sold them all, fast. Dealers had ordered every one within five days. Ryan says he is getting a new ride soon.
No. 2: What's in your CD player right now?
Malone: Rob Zombie
The last concert Ryan saw was Dave Matthews Band.
No. 3: What are your most vivid memories of growing up with an NHL dad?
Malone: Always being around the rink, playing hockey, street hockey, knee hockey, whatever. Kelly Buchberger and I were talking the other day and he played lawn hockey with a whiffle ball, which sounds cool but I've never done.
Greg Malone played 11 seasons in the NHL (1976-87), scoring 191 goals and 501 points in 704 NHL games. He played seven seasons for the Penguins (1976-83) and is now in his 13th season as the Penguins head scout, overseeing all junior, college, high school and European scouting efforts. He has been part of the club's staff since 1988 and logs thousands of miles on the road each season in his quest for young prospects.
No. 4: How would you describe Ed Olcyzk's NHL head coaching style?
Malone: Definitely as a teacher, especially with all the assistants. They are very hands on and emphasize the little things. Every little thing helps.
On December 29th, 1988 Ed Olczyk and Gary Leeman scored goals for the Maple Leafs four seconds apart against the Quebec Nordiques. Ryan was nine.
No. 5: Who is the funniest guy on the team?
Malone: Marc Bergevin. Earlier in the year I wore a white hat to practice and while I was on the ice doing extra shooting after practice, he took my hat and put it on the table where the team has us sign things and when I got back into the locker room my hat was signed by the entire team. I got him back though. I filled the shaft of his sticks with water and taped them back up again. He didn't realize it until he got on the ice for practice. They were a LITTLE heavy. I shouldn't have told you that. He didn't know it was me.
I won't tell.
No. 6: Who's the hottest woman in the world right now?
Malone: Carmen Electra.
Ryan played four years at St. Cloud State. He uses Nike skates, Easton sticks and CCM helmets.
No. 7: What do you do with your paycheck when you get it?
Malone: Put it in the bank! I got to try to save up. I hope there is not a work stoppage, but you got to think like there will be. I'm trying to manage my money well, which I usually don't do a good job of. I have a two-way contract signed through next year, so I'll likely be in the AHL next year in Wilkes-Barre and at least be getting paid. Better than nothing.
It was Ryan's choice to wear the same number his dad did as a Penguin (No. 12).
No. 8: What call did Penguin broadcaster Mike Lang use when you scored your first NHL goal?
Malone: I haven't seen the tape yet. I would probably request, "I'LL BE COW KICKED!"
Do you think he uses his special calls during a moments of ecstasy?
Malone: (Laughter) I don't know!
Go eat your rice, dude.
2. Jason King, C, Vancouver Canucks: Like my Nana, Jason King was born in Newfoundland. Unlike my Nana, Jason King is a Calder candidate. He knows where to go to score goals and has given the Canucks a second scoring line. Of course the coolest thing about Jason King is that he can say he plays with Swedish twins.
3. Patrice Bergeron, C, Boston Bruins: The Bruins second-round pick last summer. He's the youngest player in the NHL and will be 18 the entire season, even if the Bruins win the Stanley Cup. He is poised and smart, and in this athletic day and age if you are poised and smart you are way ahead of the curve. Throw in some talent and you got something. Bergeron is living with Martin Lapointe and his family this season.
4. Eric Staal, C, Carolina Hurricanes: Good size, good student, good hands, great future and the Hurricanes should get a good player for him to play with in next year's draft because it doesn't look like the Hurricanes are going to make the playoffs again.
5. Marc-Andre Fleury, G, Pittsburgh Penguins: His save percentage is still well over .900 and at 18 years old, on that team, that's good enough to make our first Calder list.
Life of Podes
New to the segment? Shjon Podein is checking in for the first time this season since signing to play for Vaxjo in Sweden. Check the last installment:
My first AHL playoff in Cape Breton, we were playing against the St. John's Maple Leafs. It was the first game and I was really pumped up. I was so excited I took a run behind the net at Kevin McClelland, an old tough guy for many years.
As I started skating to backcheck, I heard him yelling "Hey, Podine," -- he pronounced it po-DINE, not the correct po-DEEN -- "you %*#/ing commie! Let's go!" So, as I skated to get away I yelled, "It's Podeeeeen, and not a $*#/in' chance!"
I'll check in again soon. And by the way, John, you still owe me child support from September, see ya.
The beloved Podes' stats news this week is more fun than the last time (few points, game misconduct). His team Växjö has only played two games, but they won both. Podes scored the game winner when they shut out Arboga 2-0 and was named best player for Växjö after a 2-1 victory over Bofors. So after 13 games, Podes has ten points (5-5-10), has fired 32 shots on goal and is plus-6.
I love the section you are reserving for Podes every column. I met Shjon in my 6th grade DARE program, while he played for the Flyers, and my heart still flutters when I think of that! I love the column and my dream is to be included in it some week!
Cherry Hill, N.J.
Dream songs: I like "Dreamin'" by Kenny Nolan, "Dream Evil" by Dio, "Dream Weaver" by Gary Wright, "Dreams" by Van Halen, "Dream Lover" by Bobby Darin, "Dream Lover" by Mariah Carey (different song), "All I Have to Do Is Dream" by the Everly Brothers, "Dreamin'" by Vanessa Williams, "Daydream Believer" by Neil Diamond and The Monkees, "Bad Dream" by the Violent Femmes, "Dreamin'" by OMD, "California Dreamin'" by the Mamas and the Papas, "The Blues Is Just A Bad Dream" by James Taylor, "Ain't That Just Like A Dream" by Tim McGraw, "I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman.
Last night I caught a stick near the eye in my team's roller hockey game and it required stitches, but my teammates rallied to come back and beat Temple. Tonight I'm going to see The White Stripes. Is there anything better than winning a hockey game, getting hockey stitches, and going to see The White Stripes, all in the same 24-hour period?
Yes. Winning a hockey game, taking a pina colada hot tub with the Carolina Hurricane cheerleaders (with their cowboy hats on), seeing The White Stripes, and bowls and bowls of watermelon Jolly Ranchers. Think bigger, Matt. Don't let Collegeville keep you down, brutha.
I loved Jose Theodore's tuque in the Heritage Classic! My girlfriend, Danielle, wants to know what the heck would have happened if a puck had been deflected away from the net by the little pompon on the top? Would we see a wave of netminders with tuques and oversized pompons? And what of the inevitable crackdown on the size of them? Would Sean Burke come out with a Stetson? Jean-Sebastien Giguere in one of those reggae hats?
Garth Snow attempted to play goal for the Islanders last week with a giant yellow afro that had two ceiling fans nailed to the sides. The NHL had no problem with the "protective equipment" until they saw the extension cord strewn with Christmas lights that ran along the goal line. And the Frosty the Snowman next to each post.
I see where you're going with the Ice Bowl idea! Two years ago I was a member of the Michigan State University Spartan Marching Band drumline (winner of many national drumline competitions) when we played at the Cold War held at Spartan Stadium, to break the record of highest attendance at a collegiate hockey game while watching MSU fight to a tie with Michigan. The event was a complete success, and I'm proud to say that I participated in it. But now, imagine if the Red Wings played the Leafs or the Blackhawks. It's too exciting for me to handle! Please pull some strings for us and influence the important people that you know to get this done for us. ;)
A loyal reader,
East Lansing, Mich.
While taking our weekly steam at the Brooklyn Gold's Gym, Gary Bettman told me the NHL is looking into an outdoor U.S. game.
I don't think you'll find one person in Philly who did not love Tim Kerr. A great player, great team, tragic events (family and career). It was good to find out what he's been up to. Thanks.
DO3 - Mission Operations Procedures Branch
Johnson Space Center
In 1990, Tim Kerr's wife died from complications after giving birth. As we wrote last week, he's remarried and has five kids.
To correct Dan Harnett from NYC on "Sunday Morning Save Percentage," the real formula is as follows: number of minutes needed to get out of the girl's apartment after realizing where you are, divided by the number of drinks you needed before going home with her on Saturday night. Also, you can keep a plus-minus rating if you want (add a +1 if she was attractive, and a -1 if she wasn't).
Ladies, feel free to give your perspective on Sunday Morning Save Percentage.
As a Georgia native, there are two things from this state, more specifically Atlanta, that I love, the Thrashers and the band Injected; they both rawk!! So John, now that we are two months into the season and the Thrashers have managed to maintain a high level of play, despite the injuries to Dany Heatley and Marc Savard, do you think the Thrashers make the playoffs?
I'm going to say no, Jonathan. They still aren't good enough defensively. In this era, teams that survive the six-month regular season are generally good defensive teams -- UNLESS, they score a bunch of goals. The Thrashers are on pace to score about 240 goals. If they can keep that pace, they will be in the hunt for the playoffs in February. If they are, they will likely get Dany Heatly back, and GM Don Waddell will trade for a defenseman or two.
What CDs are in your car right now?
I'm playing the heck out of Fountains of Wayne "Welcome Interstate Managers," especially the songs "Hackensack" and "Valley Winter Song." I also have the greatest hits compilations of Lenny Kravitz, Stone Temple Pilots, and REM, Cowboy Mouth's "Are You With Me," the new OutKast, and Nat King Cole's "A Christmas Song," released in 1961 and still the best Christmas album of all time.
I'm convinced a Ken Hitchcock coached team could go .500 with a plate of bruschetta in net.
Here's one you will love... Your favorite fan/soldier-stuck-in-Kuwait was home for two weeks on R&R. I got back to Kuwait the Saturday of the Outdoor Game (of course). Have no fear, a friend TiVo-ed the game and is mailing it over to me soon!
Camp Victory, Kuwait
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