One spy's view of '08-09 regular season
Made it in. Have infiltrated the NHL's NY offices. Nobody knows; spying for Paul Kelly. Wonder if Ted Saskin can read my e-mail?
10:22 a.m., Sept. 15 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
RT @JohnDavidson: What did they teach Erik Johnson at the NDTP? You'd think getting out of a golf cart would be part of it.
4:56 p.m., Sept 15
Ran into Bettman. Told him it would be great to hold awards in Vegas. He accidentally spat coffee on my white shirt. Dumb idea, I guess.
2:15 p.m., Sept. 19 twitterHockeyMole
@T_Saskin: Yes I can. Tell Daly so much for "This is beginning of beautiful friendship." Lasted as long as a Torts postgame explanation.
5:07 a.m, Sept 23
Giggling over fact Craig MacTavish is already calling Penner "Dustin Penne." Too bad about Dwayne Roloson. He'll never get his job back.
4:03 p.m., Sept 30 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Leafs 3, Wings 2. No need for Brian Burke in Toronto now, huh? Told u Maurice was to blame -- you'll never work in the league again, Paul!
10:22 p.m., Oct. 9 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@SeanAvery: A favor? Send that T-shirt Bettman ordered for me with all the things I'm NOT supposed to say. Were references to ex-girlfriends a no-no(?)
11:15 p.m., Oct. 10
Such buzz from NHL over Winter Classic in Chicago. Plan to have Steve Bartman sit in left-field corner and catch a Bobby Hull slap shot.
2:34 p.m, Oct. 21 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@JohnDavidson: First the golf mishap. Now Palin's ceremonial carpet gets our goalie. Is our season video going to be directed by Hitchcock? Or Ferrell?
10:55 p.m., Oct. 25
More giggles over L.A. plans to use J. Quick in goal. Told Lombardi it's OK as long as he has Steve Speedy on wing and Jo-Jo JumboTron on D.
9:08 a.m., Nov. 1 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@Lombardi_NotVince: Funny. Real funny. Raitis Ivanans now has your home address.
3:07 a.m., Nov. 2
@LLamoriello: Uh, small problem here. Didn't bother to buy a mask for any of our other goalies this season. Just baseball caps. That's all they ever need.
11:30 p.m., Nov. 4
Colin Campbell just gave Chris Simon a 48-game suspension. Don't have the heart to tell Colie the big fella's in the KHL. Let the intern do it.
3:19, Nov. 6 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@SawProducer: Just between you and me. If we fire Melrose after only 16 games, will the league let us spend to a $87M cap this season?
7:33 a.m., Nov. 10
@L_Dude_Barrie: Anybody wanna buy a golf course?
7:48 a.m., Nov. 10
@MapleLeafCaptain13: This guy I know, he's from, um, Norway, isn't sure whether he should play in the NHL this season. Could he pick up the season when NBC does?
5:46 p.m., Nov. 19
Mats? Is that you Mats?
5:47 p.m., Nov. 19 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@MapleLeafCaptain13: Um, no, this is Lance Armstrong. No, it's Victor Hedman. Wait, no, it's Shaq.
5:49 p.m., Nov. 19
@SeanAvery: Need the T-shirt man! Gettin' an itchy trigger finger down here in Big D. No one laughs at my fart jokes. Actually, the Vogue folks didn't either.
12:08 p.m., Nov. 20
Hartnell sent request to NHL to not have to cut his hair. Gary says no. Note to Paul to grieve this one. He and Lindros can work on this.
11:54 a.m., Nov. 30 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@TheSilverFox: Aren't we past the GM trading deadline? I steal Ryan Hollweg for a fifth and this is how they treat me. I WON A CUP 20 YRS AGO, DAMMIT!
5:43 p.m., Nov. 30
Oops. Forgot to send T-shirt to Sean. Thought he was still with the Rangers, but they'd never take him back. Maybe it'll all blow over.
10:00 p.m.7, Dec. 2 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@MapleLeafCaptain13: Are they playing all 82 games again this season? Three periods in each game? Still full contact? My, uh, friend wants to know.
2:39 p.m., Dec. 7
@TavaresJohnGenerals: Any chance the Islanders will be moving? Or being sold? Why can nobody tell me the name of the new coach?
5:11 p.m., Dec. 9
Emotions at office high over economy. Winnipeg mayor hung up on Gary. Something about shoving something somewhere. Or dead coyotes.
11:30 a.m., Dec. 12 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@MapleLeafCaptain13: It was me all along. Big Mats. Vancouver gave me the Cup tradition I was looking for. Hope I can play with Mess.
3:56 p.m., Dec. 15
Weird reports out of Montreal. George wants out. He says no. I believe him. Must be those Liverpool fans spreading rumors.
9:22 a.m., Dec. 24 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Bartman won't do Classic. Colie suspended him for 122 games. Settling for really bad uniforms and guest appearance from Hull hairpiece.
12:38 p.m., Dec. 29 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Weird to hear both Lidstrom and Datsyuk booked hotels in Bahamas for Jan. 24-25. Aren't they supposed to be somewhere else that weekend?
10:55 a.m., Jan. 12 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@Foppa21: HOW MUCH DID THAT BALD STIFF GET FOR HALF A SEASON?!
6:43 p.m., Jan. 19
Gary not happy. Spills coffee on me again. Accidentally. Zetterberg gets 12-year, $73M deal. Gary says he's no DiPietro. Does he mean Paul?
2:45 p.m., Jan. 28 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@SeanAvery: Feeling calmer. Anger management working. Just wondering
why the &%^$#@!?&$ DIDN'T YOU SEND ME THAT %$#?:&@! T-SHIRT?!
5:08 a.m., Jan. 31
@OlliJokinen: I don't think they like me here. Should try harder. Should apologize to coach for those Police Academy jokes. Will call Sean for advice.
2:55 p.m., Feb. 2
Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood sure make a nice couple. Very photogenic. Geez, I hope she never dated He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.
1:19 p.m., Feb. 11 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Gary and Bill called me into office today. Want to know what was the name of the city I suggested for the NHL Awards. I said Vegas.
8:59 a.m., Feb. 16 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Sharks humming along, B's winning, Ovie scoring, Parise looks like real deal. And those brothers in Montreal seem to have good friends.
5:16 p.m., Feb. 18 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@EmeryBeLikeTyson: Who knew suitcases of money didn't mean contracts were guaranteed?
2:09 a.m., Feb. 22
Torts to Rangers. Already swore at Statue of Liberty. Told press he wants to hire McLellan and some guy in D.C. Don't think he can do that.
6:44 p.m., Feb. 24 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@AlexanderSemin: What I said about Crosby? Never mind.
8:43 p.m., Feb. 24
Florida in bad fix with that Bouwmeester dude. Just two more days. Too bad trade line to Canucks was ripped out of wall in Panther offices.
3:33 p.m., March. 2 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@OlliJokinen: Guess the Police Academy apologies didn't work. Why do they call him Iron Mike?
3:00 p.m., March 4
@SeanAvery: If there's a TV timeout and everyone's just kinda stretching, can I hit the goalie in head with my stick? What if I wasn't angry at the time?
4:09 a.m., March 16
Lacroix called Gary and asked if it's OK if the Avs lost every game the rest of the season by 5 goals. Gary said lottery ensures integrity.
12:54 p.m., March 20 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@L_Dude_Barrie: Anybody wanna buy a golf course?
1:08 a.m., March 24
George says yes, maybe, sure it's possible Habs are for sale. Perhaps those friends of the Kostitsyns would be interested?
2:17 p.m., March. 31 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@GarthSnow: That Maurice is a great coach. The size of his brain alone beat us by 9. Shame to be losing that bad this time of year, right Pierre? Ha!
11:01 p.m., April 7
CuJo ties Gump Worsley's all-time record with 352nd goaltending loss. Does this make the late Gumper happy or sad in the life beyond?
10:08 p.m. April 8 Sent from twitterHockeyMole
@T_Saskin: Still got your e-mail. Been reading everything for months. Passing on to Gary and Bill. Wait til I tell Chelly. Maybe I could be ombudsman.
8:04 a.m., April 9
About four hours ago Sent from twitterHockeyMole
Damien Cox, a columnist for The Toronto Star, is a regular contributor to ESPN.com. He is the author of "Brodeur: Beyond The Crease" and "'67: The Maple Leafs, Their Sensational Victory, and the End of an Empire."