Pistol tolls
Crossing the northern border with heat
By Kevin ShortIt cost me $22.80 to keep my piece.
Kerry and I decided we would take a little side trip on the way home and got through Escanaba, Mich., to fish on Bay de Noc. From Oneida Lake to Bay de Noc, there isn't really an easy way to travel, unless you fly, which we don't. I don't have a way to load up the 3500, the Lance, and the BassCat on something with wings. I guess if I had a C130, I would have it made. But I don't. Yet.
Looking at the map, the shortest route involves a trip across the Peace Bridge from Buffalo to Fort Erie, Canada, then across the Canadian province of Ontario to Sarnia. I have passports and reports, but those readers who've been following along for a while know that any trip across the border, any border, with me is a risky proposition. For those who don't know, here's some background. To add even more iffi-ness to crossing the border, K-Pink is packing some heat on this road trip.
I've been traveling for a few years without a pistola (that's Spanish for pistol), but for some reason this season, I've hauled along a S&W 9F. It could be the increased number of weirdo's that I've seen out on the road, or could be just for added security. I just want to be ready in case some freak beats on the door in the middle of the night. Sure I've broken a multitude of ATF, FBI, FCC, CIA, PBS, FAA, and ASPCA rules by toting my piece along on the Tour this year, but hey, it's registered and they know where I live. So we're at Oneida, looking at the road atlas for a route to Escanaba. Mapquest confirms that the shortest distance involves crossing the Canuck border and dealing with Helga. I'm not liking that very much. It's not just the fact that I'm toting, but what I'm toting. According to the Canadian border crossing website, the gun itself is not a problem, but the 17 round clip classifies it as a prohibited weapon. Not good. Hey, I bought it — from a dealer — long before there was a ban on the number of rounds you could have in a pistola. So sue me, already.
I was going to hand the 9 off to Matt Reed, who had stayed after the Champions Choice derby for a writer's conference, but he left before Kerry and I returned from an overnight trip to Poughkeepsie to see the BOPS. Tak was still in the campground, but I wasn't comfortable with asking a Japanese national to hold my piece for me, especially since he wasn't going directly home. Last thing I wanted was for him to get stopped with a gun that didn't belong to him. I'm sure that someone somewhere might see that as some sort of terrorist activity.
The wife's solution to the problem was to simply cross the border without telling Helga that I was packing. I don't think so. Sure as I tried something stupid like that, they would have the gunpowder sniffing dogs on patrol that day and I would wind up in the Canuck Clink. With Helga as my guard. That had whips and chains written all over it. I don't have a problem pushing the envelope, but I'm not crazy about pushing it with someone who carries a gun and a badge for a living. I don't see that as very smart.
Our second solution was to purchase a non-prohibited, according to the website, 10 round clip for the 9F, mail the prohibited clip to myself at home, cross the border — declaring and registering the gun with Helga, and continue on our journey. I had two problems with that solution; (a) not real crazy about Helga having my name, rank, serial number, and the serial number for one of my guns. My own ATF already has me on record, I don't care to be registered with anyone else. (b) I would have to pay the Canadian government $23, $28, $82, or some amount I never could determine, to register the gun with them. Screw that.
Solution number three was to ship the gun to a friend, who we were going to see the next week, in Wisconsin. One slight problem is the fact that it's also against the law for me to ship firearms with any carrier, since I am not a firearms dealer. I guess I could have taken it to a firearms dealer in the Oneida area — but why? I even thought about dismantling the 9F and shipping it in separate pieces. Nah. It would be my luck that they'd lose the barrel and I'd wind up with most, but not all, of my gun back.
Solution number four was to drive around the southern side of Lake Erie to get to Michigan. That would take several more hours of driving, several more dollars in diesel, and $22.80 in tolls for the New York Thruway and Ohio Turnpike.
After the third stop at a toll booth, Kerry looked at me and said "Hell, you could have bought a new gun for what it's going to cost us in tolls".
Yeah, but Helga won't be cracking a whip on my butt.
For more info on Kevin Short or to contact Kevin, check out his Web site at www.kfshort.com.
