- Brett Pauly
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Coming to your city soon: ID'ing uncurbed dogs via DNA in poop
Everyone poops, as the title of the popular kids book suggests, and now Big Brother plans to use doo-doo to identify culprits.
OK, the wrongdoers happen to be dogs that are not curbed. Just the same, officials in Vercelli, Italy, plan to make feces Exhibit A against any owner who doesn't clean up their pet's mess, Reuters reports from Rome.
A DNA database of all registered dogs in the town of 45,000 inhabitants near Turin will be created and fines will be assessed when an offending pooch is ID'ed.
It's actually a very simple solution to a stinky situation, according to Antonio Prencipe, councilor in charge of the environment for Vercelli.
"If signs and invitations aren't enough, we'll try genetics. I want a clean city," Prencipe told La Stampa, a daily newspaper.
And here's the scary part for canine conspiracy theorists: Vercelli apparently isn't the only place where dog DNA bases are being established, Reuters reports. A similar program began this month in Petah Tikva, Israel.
And for those of you who couldn't be bothered with plastic bags while walking Fido, don't think for a minute it could happen here.
Gone but not forgotten: Wyoming's Jim Adams wanted it told like it was
Hats off to ol' Jim Adams.
He's gone to the great groggery in the sky, but we'll always remember him at least from his remarkably telling obituary.
When you read it we're certain you'll share our sentiments that this is the type of honesty we'd like to have written about us when it's our time (but that also probably won't happen).
We're just now learning of his passing on Sept. 9 by way of a note from a colleague, but, you see, Jim apparently was quite the drinker and womanizer and didn't have the time of day for his doctors.
It's all laid out here, courtesy of the Web site of the Casper Star-Tribune in Wyoming:
DOUGLAS, Wyo. A celebration of life for James William "Jim" Adams, 53, will be held at a later date.
He died Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008 at Memorial Hospital of Converse County in Douglas.
Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting others' courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor's orders or maybe for just living life a little too hard for better than five decades.
He was born June 8, 1955, in Garrison, N.D., the son of James William and Ruby Helen (Clark) Adams.
He was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date. True to his personal style, he spent his final hours joking with medical personnel, cussing and begging for narcotics and bargaining with God to look over his loving dog, Biscuit, and his family.
He would like to thank all "his ladies" for putting up with him the last 30 years.
During his life, he excelled at anything he put his mind to. He loved to hear and tell jokes and spin tales of grand adventures he may or may not have had.
He is survived by five sons, Jeremiah Adams and his wife, Nicole, Mica Olivas, Wade Olivas, Brice Simpson and Cole Adams; sister, Jerri Giegerich; two ex-wives, Vickie Harrison and Marilyn Williams; four grandchildren; two nieces; and two great-nieces.
He was preceded in death by his parents and a brother-in-law.
In lieu of flowers, he asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favorite watering hole, get rip-roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can.
Gorman Funeral Homes-Converse Chapel of Douglas is in charge of the arrangements.
The Cindy Walker tearjerker "Jim, I Wore a Tie Today," which we know from the likes of Eddy Arnold, Jimmy Dean, Johnny Cash and The Highwaymen, might be an appropriate send-off for Jim Adams:
Well, Jim, you're ridin' on ahead.
I guess that's how it has be.
But when you reach those streets paved with gold, Jim,
Stake a claim out for me.
Hey, like songwriter Harlan Howard himself a Cindy Walker devotee famously said about great country tunes: "Three chords and the truth."
It would be a fitting sentiment, we figure, if one were to write a country song about Jim Adams.
Idaho woman named Bacon goes hog wild in calling competition
We'll call it a little bit of hog heaven.
Is there anything better when a woman named Bacon is declared hog-calling champion?
That's the story from the Nez Perce County Fair in Lewiston, Idaho, where Jolee Bacon out-called the competition and brought home the trophy, according to the Associated Press.
Apparently Bacon also has raised some champion pigs of her own in northern Idaho, and she and her daughter make a habit of calling their snort, snort, snorters twice a day
No that is just sooey-te, if we do say so.
About the author: Brett Pauly spent nearly six years editing and publishing ESPNOutdoors.com before moving on to produce the ESPN.com Sports Travel site. He is a national award-winning writer and editor with 14 years of experience in the newspaper trade, including stints at the Los Angeles Daily News and Seattle Times. The Evergreen State is where he now makes his home. Click here to email him.