Backcasts archive: Through March 9, 2007
Blog calendar: March 8 | March 7 | March 6 | March 5
If this is the new face of PETA, we're down with that
If you happened to be in downtown Seattle yesterday when PETA's fashion police in faux leather were issuing faux tickets to passerby who were donning real hide, fur or wool, consider yourself lucky. It was quite a show.
The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals may be on to something here: Instead of wearing animal products, wear next to nothing.
Check out the Seattle Times shot of "fashion policewoman" Sue Oliver citing a leather-clad violator at Fourth Avenue and Pine Street.
Hey, if this is the new face of PETA, we're OK with that. I'm showing up next time loud and proud, sporting my best cow-skin coat and alligator boots, with a "Howdy do" and a "Write me one of them there tickets."
Oliver and fellow fashion czar Rachel Bjork were the marquee performers in a publicity stunt that included several animal-right activists in tow, according to the Seattle Times.
"It's a great way to raise awareness about a serious issue," Oliver told the Times as she wrote a ticket to a teenage boy who had planted himself in front of her and pointed out his leather shoes.
Oliver may have had the write idea, but the teen definitely had the right idea.
Winner of record lottery has his priorities in the right order
Rocky face does little to describe the expression of Georgia truck driver Ed Nabors after he stepped forward yesterday to claim his share of the richest lottery jackpot in U.S. history.
No, Nabors appeared to be all smiles as one of two winners of the $390 million jackpot from Tuesday night's Mega Millions drawing, according to the Associated Press.
And we're pleased to report he has set his priorities in the proper order.
"I'm going to do a lot of fishing," Nabors, 52, said in a deep, Southern drawl. It's just what we would expect from a good, ol' boy who calls Rocky Face, Ga., home.
Asked if he planned to keep his job, Nabors responded, "Well, at least for a couple more days."
With a lump sum of $80 million after taxes, I suppose he can do just about anything he wants. His odds of picking the winning combination were 1 in 176 million.
Oh, and apart from hitting his favorite fishing hole, and undoubtedly several new ones, Nabors also is angling to purchase a house for his daughter, who, according to the AP, has desired to move out of her mobile home for quite some time.
No word, yet, on the identity of the other jackpot winner, who has until March 6, 2008, to turn in the prize ticket to state lottery officials in New Jersey, where it was purchased. We're presuming he or she is still on the water.
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Portly blonde wanted in catfish attack. Say what?
A news story that ends with a line like, "Anyone with information about the catfish assailant is asked to contact" … the local sheriff's office, has got to have some juicy details above it.
Man, in the world of journalism and inverted pyramids where the most important information goes up top, that is quite a kicker.
However, the lead to yesterday's Kingsport Times-News piece is even better: "The Hawkins County Sheriff's Office is looking for a 'blond, heavy-frame female' who allegedly attacked a restaurant employee with a catfish Friday evening in Bulls Gap."
That's Bulls Gap, Tenn., and this certainly ain't no bull.
Indeed, the Kingsport Times-News has been serving local readers since 1916, and we're betting it's never reported anything as fishy as this:
A sheriff's corporal arrived at Di's Diner on state Highway 11-E in response to a call Friday evening that a stocky blonde had allegedly attempted to stuff a catfish dinner in her purse without paying for it, according to the article by Hawkins County Bureau reporter Jeff Bobo.
The female patron was apparently kind enough to pay for part of her original meal, but not the catfish platter, according to the Kingsport Times-News.
When confronted about the meal in her purse that was unaccounted for in the payment, the woman threw a wad of cash at the register and stormed out of the eatery, sheriff's Cpl. David Lafollette put in his report. But her money apparently wasn't enough to cover the fish in the handbag.
When diner employee Tina Henry followed the blonde outside, Lafollette stated, "The suspect then threw the fish out of her purse at Tina, hitting her in the back."
Fortunately Ms. Henry was not injured in the incident. But diner owner Dwight Jenkins was out $7.99 for the meal that lay in ruin on the ground.
Worse, the alleged catfish thief got away.
So if you see a suspicious heavy-set blond woman standing 5 feet 5 inches or 5 feet 6 inches, last seen in a red and black F-250 pickup, in or around Bulls Gap, Tenn., and who seems to have a penchant for whiskerfish, you are encouraged to call the Hawkins County Sheriff's Office at (423) 272-4848. That number again is (423) 272-4848.
The female suspect is potentially facing theft and assault charges.
Meanwhile, all this comes in the wake of the Australian woman just sentenced for smuggling catfish in her dress.
Tell you what, this indicates to me a clear glut in crimes of poisson.
(Hey, credit for good kickers mustn't always go to the newspapers; we can share the wealth.)
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Hood Canal in a sorry state, and that hurts the Skokomish people
When is fishing less of a hobby or profession and more of a way of life?
When you're a member of the Skokomish tribe, whose people have relied on the bounty of Washington's Hood Canal for eons.
But due largely to pollution, and in particular sewage, Hood Canal is dying, according to yesterday's enlightening and worrisome lead story in the Seattle Times. And it is threatening that very way of life.
These people who number about 600, with a reservation near Shelton, Wash., depend on the canal and tribal fisherman to deliver traditional table fare of crab, salmon, oysters, shrimp and clams — including the extra large and extra delicious geoduck.
The tribe is lobbying hard to save the canal and evaluates the waters on its own, but who knows if that will be enough.
I encourage you to read the special report, but I'm going to shamelessly steal some quotes to help us better understand the severity of the Hood Canal issue for the Skokomish, whose very name in their native tongue — tuwa'duqhL si'dakW — translates to "our big salt water," according to the Times.
You can hear the pain in their words. Listen:
"Our connection to the canal is everything," tribal deputy manager Tom Strong told the Times. "It's not just the right to fish and hunt. We are inheritors of something far more powerful and substantial. … This little world is our homeland. We are tied at the hip. We are one and the same."
"We can't do what we did as children with our children," said tribe member Winona Plant. "And if you go to those places today there is nothing. Will my kids get to touch a starfish on the beach ever again?"
"You don't feel the same relationship with the place," said Delbert Miller, a Skokomish spiritual leader. "When you realize what was here for thousands of years, and go there and find nothing today, it is an empty feeling. It feels like an extinction."
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Woman found with fish in her dress sentenced
There are endless joke possibilities here, but we'll play this piece of news as straight and tasteful as possible.
Indeed, the "flipping" noises coming from her clothes that landed an Australian woman in hot water with Melbourne airport customs officers have lead to a sentence.
Sharon Naismith, 45, will be doing nine months of community service work for smuggling protected fish from Asia in her dress, according to the Associated Press.
She was busted in June 2005, when a customs search revealed a specially made apron containing 15 plastic bags filled with water … and fish, including one rare Asian arowana reportedly worth tens of thousands of dollars. The other bags contained14 catfish; no word on the street value of the whiskerfish.
Naismith, who had arrived from Singapore, pleaded guilty to a charge of attempting to import regulated wildlife, the AP reports. She was sentenced Friday.
The story is just so wrong, on so many levels, we had to chuckle. One thing's for certain: This could only happen Down Under.
But Australian Customs senior officer Doug Nicoll took the air out of any laughs and brought the serious offense into the proper perspective.
"Wildlife smuggling is a cruel practice, as many offenders ignore the health and well-being of the animals," Nicoll said.
"Such animals can also be potential carriers of disease and harm the Australian fish industry."
Wildlife artist puts his stamp on grand slam
Spring training has only just begun, and we've already got a guy hitting for the cycle.
But this isn't any ordinary baseball stat. And it's not the game you're thinking about. In fact, hitting foul actually is hitting fowl.
Now you understand. The grand slam, in this case, was achieved by John House, who recently became the first artist to win all four of Minnesota's wildlife stamp contests duck, pheasant, trout and turkey, according to a feature by Mike McFeely of the Forum of Fargo that was picked up by the Associated Press.
His painting of three wild turkeys in a cornfield was picked by the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources as the winner of the 2008 state wild turkey stamp competition.
House, 50, of Lake Christina, Minn., also won the 1999 duck stamp, 2004 pheasant stamp and 2006 trout stamp competitions. Three other artists also had three legs of the so-called "grand slam."
"This is a big deal. It's marvelous. Now I get to change my stationery. I get to have 'grand slam winner' on my letterhead," House told the Forum of Fargo.
Artists receive no compensation from the state Department of Natural Resources for winning a stamp contest, but receive reproduction and marketing rights. With the sale of prints, that can be worth thousands of dollars.
In House's case, winning all four Minnesota contests means he'll likely do well among collectors, according to the article.
House said he's finished entering state contests, but he does have one more contest goal: winning the federal duck stamp competition conducted by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
He's entered the federal competition three times, with his best finish a tie for 11th place.
About the author: Brett Pauly spent nearly six years editing and publishing ESPNOutdoors.com before moving on to produce the ESPN.com Sports Travel site.
He is a national award-winning writer and editor with 14 years of experience in the newspaper trade. The Evergreen State of Washington is where he makes his home. Click here to email him.
