Mules and Donkeys


Now that I am outside the border, I can rip the freaks a little bit. Hopefully the statute of limitations will run out before I have to go back.

First impression — crossed the Colorado River on I-40 from Arizona and the first sign I see says "Welcome to California". The next sign reads "Autos with Trailers/Trucks — Max Speed 55".

What the …? I'm driving across the Mojave Desert. Key word here is "desert" There is nothing out here. For miles. And miles. And miles.

The road is flat and straight until the edge of the world and I have to drive 55 because I'm pulling a trailer? Are they afraid I'm going to run over some tumbleweed blowing across the highway? Is a cactus going to jump out in front of me?

We cruised on across the Mojave (not at 55) to the town of Lancaster, where we were meeting the people at Lance Campers. Kerry and I are living in one of their truck campers this year and wanted to visit with the people who built our home on the road.

Oddly enough, in Lancaster you can drive 55 through a residential area complete with kids riding on their bicycles on the sidewalks less than 12" from me and my trailer. Yeah, I get it.

Don't drive too fast across the desert where there isn't a living soul for miles, but drive like Junior at Daytona around our kids. Sure makes a lot of sense to me.

Is there some California logic that only Left Coast people understand? Do the Lefties that make up laws like that actually drive their own vehicles across the desert? If they do, I'm betting they don't pull a trailer.

So are the fish really bigger in Texas or are they bigger in California? After the Delta, I thought that Amistad still had more and bigger fish, even though I think we hit the Delta a little off on the weather and tides.

After the Clear Lake event, I would say that Texas may need to get the fertilizer spreaders out.

Daaa-yyyuumm. Yep, that's a two-syllable word. 122-plus pounds, seven guys over the century mark; is Clear Lake the best big bass lake in the country, or what?

For its size, it may also be one of the best for numbers of fish. Absolutely amazing.

At the Delta, there was some mention made by one of the anglers about catching "donkeys". Sounds pretty cool; "My partner and I went out and caught some donkeys today!"

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't mules actually bigger than donkeys? Call me crazy, but I would rather have five mules than five donkeys. Judging by the weights, the Delta has donkeys and Clear Lake has mules. Give me some mules!

Cali has to have the most diverse geography of any of the 50 states. Nowhere else have I been can you go from an orange grove to a desert in a matter of minutes. The desert to the lush green of the redwoods in a matter of a few hours.

It's a state of many contrasts, not the least of which is the people that live there. Man, did we see meet some … interesting folks. That's all I'm going to say about that.

Is there a mall or a Starbucks on every corner in Stockton? California must be the mass consumer capitol of the world. Every corner of every major town has some type of store selling something. Amazing.

What's up with having to wear your fishing license "at or above your waist"? I thought it was a joke until I saw it printed on the face of the license.

They even sell these cute little holders for 78 cents with safety pins on them. Sort of like your mom pinning a note to your sweater for the teacher in grade school. Took 4 safety pins and lashed mine to the back of my Motorguide cap. Ha! Take that Lefties. See you next year.

For more info on Kevin Short or to contact Kevin, check out his Web site at www.kfshort.com.