Say hello to 'Billy Bad Butt'
CONCORD, N.C. -- Many literary tools were taught to help me in my journey to becoming a professional journalist. Alliteration was one of them.
Billy Bad Butt, however, never was mentioned.
Yet here I am on the phone with good ol' BBB himself while the rest of the motorsports world is abuzz about the breakup between NASCAR's most popular driver and his crew chief.
If you aren't familiar with Billy Bad Butt, otherwise known as Dwayne Bigger until Tony Stewart gave him a new name, then you apparently missed the best part of Monday's rain-delayed Coca-Cola 600 at Lowe's Motor Speedway.
Bigger, 33, is a mechanic for David Reutimann, who won the rain-shortened event that was anything but short considering it took six and a half hours to run 227 laps.
Bigger, or Bad Butt as he lets me call him, was minding his own business when Stewart approached Reutimann on pit road during the next-to-last rain delay.
Stewart was a bit miffed, claiming Reutimann held him up racing for 10th place on Lap 112 of what was supposed to be a 400-lap event. He decided to give him an education on how a two-time Sprint Cup champion would do it.
The conversation began something like the message Stewart delivered to his spotter during the race:
"Go tell that ignorant [expletive] that this isn't the Nationwide Series, and if he holds me up like that again, he'll beat the traffic on the way home," Stewart said over his radio. "I love him to death, but I'm not going to [expletive] with him like that again."
That's not as juicy as a radio conversation between Dale Earnhardt Jr. and his former crew chief, Tony Eury Jr., but it's pretty darn good.
Reutimann defended himself the best he could considering his waist isn't much bigger than Stewart's thigh. That's where Bad Butt stepped in.
Tired of hearing his driver criticized, he told Stewart to take his two Cup titles and shove it. Or something like that.
Let's let BBB tell you from his perspective what happened. Patience, this requires stringing together more quotes than they teach you in English 101, but since we threw out the rules to introduce Billy Bad Butt, it is allowed.
"Well, [Stewart] come down to the car and was giving us a hassle about being so hard to pass," Bad Butt began. "Reutimann was pretty good about firing back. He said, 'Yeah, I gave you plenty of room. I don't know what the problem is. If I'm in the wrong I'd admit I was in the wrong, but I don't feel like I was in the wrong. I gave you plenty of room and you got past me.'
"[Stewart] kept saying, 'Well, there's 42 other drivers out there that keep pointing the finger at the same guy every week.' David said, 'Tony, this is the first time we've had a conversation like this. I don't know what you're talking about.'
"If that was it nothing would have been said. But he just kept egging on, egging on, egging on. Finally, I just told him to leave."
Then the real fun began. This is Bad Butt's PG-rated version of what went down:
"After that he said until I start driving one of these cars and get out here racing with us that I could pipe in. He said the conversation right now is between your driver and me, and you don't need to be involved. I told him I was already involved.
"He acted like he was done after that. Then he came back and said some other stuff. I'm like, 'OK, when we pull up next to you and get up behind you I just want you to roll over and let us by.' He was like, 'I'll do that.' I pretty much called him out … [said] he wasn't going to do that.
"Then he walked off and came back for more. That's when I finally let him have it. The thing that fired him up was when I called him a prima donna driver … a Cup god. After that he threw out, 'I've got two championships and 33 wins, I'm a prima donna.' That's when I bowed down to him."
Yes, bowed. Bad Butt bent at the waist, bowed and actually kissed the ground, not out of respect and not without one eye on Stewart the entire time.
"I was watching his feet," Bad Butt said. "I was waiting for a foot to come up. I was pretty close to him. I was pretty sure I would get a foot up against the face."
“I respect Tony. The thing is he pretty much says what he wants to say and that's the kind of guy he is. That's the kind of guy I am, too. I don't hold back.
” -- Dwayne Bigger, aka Billy Bad Butt
It never got to that. Stewart said something children aren't supposed to hear and NASCAR officials stepped in to make sure it went no further.
A few minutes later, Stewart was interviewed by the network covering the race -- and Billy Bad Butt was born.
"There are 43 of us out here and we all have to work together," Stewart told the TV reporter. "[Reutimann's] having a hard time understanding that, I think. He says he gets that, but I'm not sure he does. Then he's got a bald crew guy down there who wants to jump up there and be Billy Bad Butt.
"Maybe he needs to ride in the car with him since they both seem to think they've got it all figured out."
Petty good stuff, and the fans seemingly have embraced it. By the time BBB arrived at Michael Waltrip Racing at 7 a.m. on Tuesday, a Web site was selling "Billy Bad Butt" T-shirts for $18.99.
Or $19.99 if you want a fitted shirt.
The headline on the Web site was priceless. It said, "NASCAR Legend Billy Bad Butt … Who is Billy Bad Butt -- Let's just say he won't kiss the ground that Tony Stewart walks on."
Stewart was invited to tell his side of what is sure to become the biggest story of the year once all the Earnhardt and Eury talk dies down, but declined through a public relations representative.
Bad Butt doesn't blame Stewart. He actually likes the guy, rating him as one of the top five drivers in the Cup garage. He appreciated Stewart calling Reutimann to congratulate him on the victory.
He just didn't appreciate what Stewart said on pit road.
"Remember the days of Earnhardt, Wallace, Martin … you never heard them say somebody was racing them too hard," Bad Butt said. "They either did something about it or just raced. That's what the people loved back then. That's where the sport's fallen back."
He has a point. Perhaps NASCAR should have included him in Tuesday's meeting of drivers and owners in which it sought ways to improve the sport.
Bad Butt represents those the governing body wants to reach -- the common man.
"I don't know how many people I've talked to that have said they don't care about the races anymore until the last 10 laps because that's the only time they race," he said. "It's not all the drivers' fault. The cars are so sensitive and you've got to protect your car so much so you don't get damaged … everybody just rides around for three-quarters of the race."
But getting the new car to pass is another story. This is all about Bad Butt standing up for his driver, which was refreshing in what is becoming a vanilla world.
"I don't know if it's good for the sport, but they need to bring the passion back and the loyalty," Bad Butt said. "You don't have that anymore."
He's right again. You don't see crewmen going to another pit stall and getting into fights like you did five years ago. They're too afraid of being fined or suspended.
Bad Butt didn't think twice about defending his driver, something Reutimann greatly appreciated.
"In the end, crew guys stick up for their drivers," Reutimann said. "At least if you've got a good crew, they do. I've had guys stick up for me even when they knew 100 percent I was wrong. They stood right beside me and made sure I didn't get beat up."
Bad Butt was ready to fight if necessary. And he looks much bigger than his 5-foot-10 and 180 pounds. Maybe it's the uniform. Maybe it's the bald head.
But he looked like he could have given Stewart a run for his money.
"It would have been a pretty good battle, probably," Bad Butt said. "I've been with my driver for seven or eight years. I'd seen him pushed around and knocked around enough, you get to a boiling point and you blow up.
"I respect Tony. The thing is he pretty much says what he wants to say and that's the kind of guy he is. That's the kind of guy I am, too. I don't hold back."
You can do that when you're Billy Bad Butt.
David Newton covers NASCAR for ESPN.com. He can be reached at dnewtonespn@aol.com.
