Lots of reasons to like the slots
There is excitement in the air at the horse race tracks in Oklahoma, the state where I live.
There is excitement in the air at the horse race tracks in Oklahoma, the state where I live.
No, they're not replacing the light bulb in the parking lot.
No, they're not firing the teller who makes her own bets before registering those of paying customers.
No, they're not cleaning the screens on the automatic betting machines.
No, they're not asking if they could do anything to make us more comfortable.
No, they're not doing anything about the smoke.
No, they're not opening the kitchen to public inspection.
No, they're not cracking down on lame horses.
No, they're not hiring fit security guards.
No, they're not opening a can of paint.
It's better than all that, combined: The slots are coming to the races!
The slots have been here for a while in Indian casinos and have probably replaced wheat as the major cash crop in this state.
Some of the Indian casinos in the outlying areas look like former muffler shops. Who cares? You want atmosphere, go to a paddock. You want mindless action, sidle up to a gambling machine.
I stopped by an Indian casino last week and sat next to an 83-year old woman who had been there four hours and had no intention of going home anytime soon. She had no idea how she stood. She didn't seem to care. She offered me a dollar to stuff more dollars into her machine while she went to the restroom. A day here obviously beat any and all alternatives.
They're building hotels complete with showrooms next to the Indian casinos in the metropolitan areas. On these stages, aging stars will probably croon as best they are able, once they get rested up from the trip over from Branson.
Indian casinos used to go on original Indian land, which made sense and kept to the treaties. But now in certain places, Indian land seems to be defined as that which the Indians purchase. If an Indian tribe buys a racetrack, slots are probably not far behind.
This state of mine is pretty outwardly religious when the economy is good.
We seem more forgiving of indiscretions when profits are flat-lining.
Here is what the state has gotten from the wildly successful Indian casinos: Tax on the profits, but no cut of the take.
Here is what the horse racing industry has gotten from the Indian casinos: Obliterated.
Where would you rather invest two bucks, in a dimly lit grandstand watching a five-year old maiden claimer, or on a gambling machine next to the room where Trini Lopez's second cousin will do the midnight show?
Oftentimes business loss is not avoidable. An oil company might leave a state because a CEO in Caracas doesn't want his employees to have to change planes in Denver.
A horse racing business with dozens of thousands of employees can be saved.
It's simple. You roll in the slots. If other states have gambling machines at their race tracks, you either say Amen to a God-fearing person's right to throw away money any way he wants, or you lose all the jobs and all the money.
An Indian tribe has brought a small racetrack here.
Hallelujah.
A plan for all the racetracks to share in profits from slots is about to be presented to the legislators whose previous righteous indignation is expected to be tempered by voters tired of driving to other states to buy a lousy lottery ticket.
A track's cut of slot and gambling machine profits can double purses.
Average horses routinely run for a winner's share of $20,000 purses at tracks that convert a storage room into mini-casino for the gambling machine junkies.
Slots cause slow horses to gain more respect.
With the profits coming from simulcasts venues halfway across the country and slot havens where they used to store the tractors, the day will come when a successful horse race will be one witnessed by three live bettors in the grandstand.
Write to Jay at jaycronley@go.com
