ESPN Tennis

PARIS – Lost and confused. A defending champion no more.

In fact, as Anastasia Myskina held back tears, she only seemed sure of one thing.

"I clearly understood that I'm losing the match," she said with a sardonic smile Monday.

Everything else seems up in the air. She might need to play more. She might take some time off. Or practice harder.

Myskina became the first defending champion – male or female – to lose in the first round at Roland Garros. It was only the third time in the open era that a women's champion lost in the first round.

Afterward, she sat, seemingly bewildered as to why. Her injured shoulder was fine, she said. That wasn't her problem.

"If my shoulder would be ready for a hundred percent, I still would not win this match," Myskina said. "It's not a matter of my shoulder."

Her 6-4, 4-6, 6-0 loss to Maria Sanchez Lorenzo went up and down like Myskina's sometimes mercurial moods. Shaky in the first set, Myskina seemed to have things in hand in the second. In the third, she completely collapsed.

"I think right now I can lose to anybody because in the past couple of weeks, I can't even pass the first shot," Myskina said. "So no matter who is playing against me, the girl's just winning. … I can't say she did something really special to beat me today."

With 69 unforced errors, Myskina wasn't being malicious when she said her opponent was not the reason for her loss.

She went through a letdown after defeating countrywoman and friend Elena Dementieva to win the 2004 title. She only reached the third round at Wimbledon, the second at the U.S. Open and fell in the fourth round of the Australian Open to start this year.

"You mentally, physically get so tired because when you play here, you don't really realize how hard [it is] to play and be here for two weeks," Myskina said Sunday. "As soon as it's over, then next day you feel empty, I don't know, [you can] feel empty for months."

Myskina, although seeded fifth, had hardly been mentioned as a favorite here. She struggled throughout the clay-court season and dealt with a shoulder injury. Plus, she's suffered personal problems. Her mother Galina is ill with a "serious problem." Myskina said little beyond that and asked for privacy Sunday.

"It was pretty hard time," she said. "But I'm a professional tennis player, so I have to play no matter what. I'm here."

Clearly, it's having an effect.

"Last year she was playing unbelievable, no?" Sanchez Lorenzo said. "The people were telling me, I mean, she has personal problems. It's not about her game. I think it's about her mind, no?

"And I feel so sorry for her."

So sorry that like Myskina, who comforted her friend instead of celebrating her first Grand Slam title last year, Sanchez Lorenzo showed little excitement at a major upset.

"If the circumstances had been a little different, if she hadn't been in such a difficult moment, possibly I would have celebrated a bit more," Sanchez Lorenzo said.

"It's difficult really to understand what I have to do on the court," Myskina said. "You know, when the balls come to me, I don't really know what I have to do … "

On Sunday, she thought her favorite tournament might help turn her around.

"I was kind of hoping that when I'm going to be back here that I will get my confidence back," she said.

Instead, she put on a brave face and answered questions about a historic loss.

"My game right now, perfect just to be off the court," she said. "You know, we'll see. I mean, I want to play my best, of course, on grass, and I want to go to Wimbledon and Eastbourne. But I don't really know right now."

There's one more thing of which she is certain. She's lost her belief.

"I'm not confident," she said. "I have no confidence at all right now on the courts."