The Road Warrior goes Kiwi
Waterfalls, mountains, rugged coast and omnipresent sheep are all distinctive features of beautiful New Zealand. (Photos by Bernard Kelly and Connie Okada)
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Flights: Aussie Adventures
Destinations: Australia | New Zealand
This seemed like such a good idea at the time.
I'm standing on the ledge of the 126-year-old Karawau Bridge, my legs bound together, staring down 143 feet to the muddy river flowing swiftly beneath me and I've never been so petrified in my life with the possible exception of that one time I asked Twins manager Tom Kelly if he thought he was using Eddie Guardado too often.
"Take a deep breath,'' the bungee jump operator speaks into my ear, "and look straight out at the highway bridge ahead.'' Noticing that my grip on a support rail is even firmer than Albert Pujols's on a bat handle in the ninth inning, he reassures me, "Relax, mate -- you're at the safest bungee jump in the world. We've been around 18 years.''
Indeed. Karawau Bridge just outside Queenstown, New Zealand is the birthplace of bungee-jumping, and the extreme sport has grown lucrative enough since 1988 that there is a visitors center alongside the bridge which is so lavishly over-the-top that James Bond's Blofeld should be inside blackmailing the world. Instead, there is a large gift shop, a spacious viewing platform and busloads of tourists handing over $100 apiece for the privilege of jumping off a bridge with a big rubber band strapped to their bodies.
My wife and I drove out to the Karawau Bridge near the end of a two-week vacation in New Zealand with no intention beyond watching other people jump. But after walking onto the bridge to the spot where the jumpers plunge over the side, one after another, every five minutes or so, all day long, I felt the need to jump as well. Whenever I'm in a high building or atop a cliff of some sort, I've always had this same strange urge. When I was in college, in fact, there was a pedestrian bridge over a deep gully that I walked across everyday on the way to and from campus. I made the point of telling my housemates that if they ever found my broken body at the bottom of the ravine, they should not assume I committed suicide or really pissed off a football player with my column, but that I simply finally gave into my urge to jump.
And now I finally have my chance to jump safely. Although I need further reassurance on the safety issue.
"You've never had an accident here?''
The bungee man nods and begins counting down. He's growing impatient with me. "Five, four, three, two...."
When he reaches "one,'' I cast aside my anxiety, fling my arms out and throw myself off the ledge. I don't resemble Superman, exactly, more like Manny Ramirez diving for a low line drive.
"He's going to be a noodle,'' the bungee operator mutters as I plunge toward the river.
Well, in my defense, I felt weak in the knees a lot in New Zealand, though usually that was from the sheer beauty of the place (or the alcohol content of the beer). This is hardly a secret but New Zealand is the most spectacular country in the world, offering snow-capped mountain ranges, spectacular fjords, rugged coasts, rainforests, volcanoes, beaches and the All Blacks rugby team. Everyone knows the Lord of the Rings movies were filmed in New Zealand, but after seeing the country in person, I think the computer FX people actually toned down the backgrounds to make the scenery seem more believable. New Zealand is so beautiful it makes California look like Nebraska.
You can spend hours sipping fine pinot noirs and rieslings at the many wineries or downing tasty brews while dining on lamb and seafood at cozy pubs, but the outdoors are New Zealand's big draw. The scenery can be experienced up-close-and-personal through world-renowned hiking ("tramping" in Kiwi parlance) trails, or by kayaking, biking, skiing, diving, surfing, climbing and, of course, bungee-jumping. The country is a sportsperson's dream, an issue of Outside magazine come to life. Sports and the outdoors are such large parts of New Zealand life that Sir Edmund Hillary (the first man to scale Everest) is actually on the five-dollar bill.
Best of all: there are almost no people. New Zealand is approximately the size of California but its population of four million is about the same as greater Houston.
You must go as well. Vacationing in New Zealand isn't cheap and it's getting more expensive with the declining value of the American dollar (it's what I call the "Bush tax") but you absolutely must go. Raise the cash by whatever desperate means necessary -- sell your Derek Jeter rookie cards, stop eating, write a book on how you might have killed Nicole Simpson -- but go.
And do the bungee-jump; it's a hell of a thrill. After I finished my jump and they fished me into the raft, my wife said she was considering jumping as well. I advised her against it -- "I think you'll be scared'' -- which is all she needed to convince her to do it. She slapped down her money, weighed in, marched onto the bridge, slipped on the harness, hobbled out to the ledge, smiled to the camera and then leapt with no hesitation.
She was much braver than me. Which didn't take much doing.
"Your husband was scared ----less,'' the bungee operator told her, quite accurately.
THE ROAD WARRIOR'S TOP 10
Suggested New Zealand Stops
You can't go wrong whatever part of the country you visit, but we spent the majority of our time on the South Island and every native New Zealander we met on the way nodded with approval. Even the North Islanders agree the South Island is superior.
1. Milford Sound. It ranks among the world's most beautiful sites, alongside Yosemite Valley, the Swiss Alps and Wrigley Field on a sunny day. Everyone wants to see the fjord and Mitre Peak in the sun, but with 300 inches of precipitation a year, chances are you'll see Milford in the rain, or at least clouds. The good news is that it can be astounding in a storm as well. We were there in weather so stormy that the wind was blowing the sound's hundreds of waterfalls back up the cliffs. We kayaked in an absolute downpour and I couldn't have enjoyed it more if Angelina Jolie had been next to me in a wet t-shirt.
2. Abel Tasman National Park. A drop-dead-gorgeous park on the coast with great opportunities for kayaking and hiking.
3. Queenstown. The town itself is growing so fast and is so touristy that it's a little like Niagara Falls, but the surrounding scenery will challenge the limits of your camera's memory card.
4. Christchurch. I wrote a few weeks ago about biking Highway 1 down Big Sur and how I couldn't imagine a more spectacular ride than the 100 miles from Carmel to San Simeon. So what happens? I found an even better route a month later. Although not nearly as long, riding up the Port Hills and along Summit Road in Christchurch is my new favorite ride. We drove the route at dusk one day and I was almost crying because I wanted to bike it so badly. So I woke up early the next morning and did just that. The ride begins just outside of the downtown core with a satisfyingly steep climb for about a mile or so before becoming more gradual. After about six miles it mostly flattens into a superb ride along a ridgeline that offers spectacular city and mountain views on one side, sea and water on the other, and sheep grazing on both.
5. Milford Track. The most famous of New Zealand's multi-day trails, this one ends at Milford Sound. We didn't get a chance to walk it -- it is so popular, and hiker numbers are so restricted, that you might need to reserve a spot a year ahead of time -- but it will be at the top of our list for next time.
6. The Kaikoura coast. Snowy mountains plunging to a rugged coastline teeming with whales, dolphins and sea lions. So what else do you need? OK, there are ALSO shacks along the road selling lobster meals.
7. A rugby match. Rugby is the national pastime and the All Blacks are the national passion. The All Blacks were on tour in Europe during our visit and much of their schedule (All Blacks schedule) is played in winter (our summer). But the pro leagues start up in February and run through May (Super 14 league schedule). (And here's a good rugby/Lord of the Rings story the host at our Queenstown B&B told us. When Peter Jackson filmed LOTR, he used a lot of the sheep farmers in the Queenstown area as Orcs. Come the day of a big battle scene, the farmers wouldn't show up because there was a big rugby game the same afternoon. So their wives donned the Orc makeup and filled in for them.)
8. Moeraki boulders. Just north of Dunedin on the South Island coast is a beach with the bizarre, almost mystical Moeraki boulders: a couple dozen naturally-formed stone spheres that will leave you feeling either deeply spiritual or humming the X-Files theme.
9. Antarctic Museum, Christchurch. The city is the traditional launching spot for Antarctic expeditions (and the site of the U.S. Antarctic headquarters) and this terrific museum gives you a great history of South Pole exploration and an appreciation for the conditions. There's even a room where you walk in and they shut the door, lower the temperature to 17-below and turn on a wind machine. It's like being at a Packers game, only without the beer.
10. Lord of the Rings sites. There are plenty of tour groups willing to take $100 from your wallet in exchange for driving you to the specific LOTR sites that are all over the country. But the general sites are marked on most driving maps and easily reached on your own. Helms Deep and Minas Tirith were both filmed at a quarry pit a couple miles outside Wellington and the scene where the Hobbits raft down the river between the towering statues was filmed just on the other side of the Karawau bungee-jump bridge. Just bear in mind that any sets used in the film are all gone (except for some of the Hobbit holes in the Shire two hours south of Auckland on the North Island). The beauty of the countryside, however, remains.
MAILBAG
"Jim: I was just wondering if you could tell me a great place to ride bikes in Paris, France? I heard Fat Tire Bikes had the best tour guides ever. Is this true?"
BJ Scheaffer
BJ: I'm not sure if you're a friend of the owners, or just one of the owners. But Fat Tire Bikes is a great way to see Paris -- I took one of their tours this past spring. Of course, renting a bike is a great way to see ANY city. Bikes are quicker than walking, cheaper than taxis and you don't have to spend time and money on a parking spot. Plus, you get some exercise. Consider renting a bike next time you visit a city no matter where it is. Even San Francisco, where the posted scenic ride across to Sausalito is far better than the cable cars.
"Jim, I recently read your article describing your bike ride along Route 1 in California. It sounds like the scenery is beautiful. I reside in Denver and am an avid cyclist. If you haven't ridden in Colorado, the views can be just as awe-inspiring as California -- that is, of course, when you aren't toiling up an eight-mile, lung-busting climb. But, I am not writing to argue about whose scenery is more breathtaking, Colorado or California. The answer is clearly Iowa. Yes, Shoeless Joe was right -- Iowa is heaven. The RAGBRAI (Registers Great Annual Bike Ride Across Iowa) takes place the last full week of every July. It consists of roughly 20,000 people pedaling across the state. Every night, a sleepy little farm town becomes an oasis of unabashed debauchery in a desert of corn. Hell, even Lance took part in the RAGBRAI this past summer. Instead of Sharon Stone's house on the left and Clint Eastwood's on the right, you have Farmer Bob's 700 acres of corn on the right and a herd of cows lazily grazing in a field on your left. Also, if you like to eat and enjoy a few libations during the day, this is the ride for you. I could go on for days, but I would not be doing this ride justice. It is an experience. Take a look at www.teamharold.com."
Nate Whitney
Nate's not the only person who wrote in about the RAGBRAI (http://www.ragbrai.org). I'll take their word for it that it's a fun ride but pedaling around in the heat and humidity of a Midwest summer isn't at the top of my cycling list. Though it probably beats biking around in the depths of a Midwest winter. Not that I think any sane person would possibly suggest such a thing....
"Jim: You know you can't call yourself a true road warrior if you don't take the trip to Minneapolis for the Stupor Bowl (bike ride) next February. Talk all you want about 800-foot climbs in less than two miles, but it means nothing if you don't do a scavenger hunt among 20 bars in a below-zero wind chill. No biking shorts allowed because of frostbite concerns.''
Randy Fordice
OK, sounds awesome. Count me in for biking around Minnesota in early February. Unless, of course, I'm someplace warmer, such as northern Russia. Which, oddly, I will be.
(If you have a sports travel-related question or tip, write to the Road Warrior and Jim will try to answer it.)
ROAD WARRIOR BOOKSHELF
Travel writer Bill Bryson's father, William, was a sportswriter for the Des Moines Register. As a child, Bill occasionally tagged along on his father's baseball road trips and met players such as Stan Musial and Willie Mays. He even had the pleasure of sitting next to Ernie Banks while the Cubs shortstop autographed baseballs, with Bill handing each ball to him. Banks, Bryson writes, "was the nicest human being I have ever met. It was like being friends with God.''
That's from Bryson's newest book, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid,' a light and thoroughly entertaining memoir of growing up in Des Moines, Iowa. Far closer to Jean Shepherd than Bruce Chatwin in this volume, Bryson doesn't take readers to a new land so much as an old time -- the 1950s and 60s in the Midwest -- when and where, he writes, "No human beings had ever been quite this happy before.'' You'll feel pretty contented yourself reading this book.
Jim Caple is a senior writer for ESPN.com who has covered sports on five continents and written about them all across America. His work can also be found on Page 2, and his book, "The Devil Wears Pinstripes," can be ordered through jimcaple.net.
